Hope
by mm-chan
Summary: Kankuro's abusive boyfriend is beating him up in fits of jealous rage. Gaara is worried but what can he do? At first Kiba x Kankuro but eventually Kankuro x Gaara. AU, VIOLENCE, SANDCEST/INCEST.
1. I

**/ / / HOPE / / /  
**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.

 **Warnings:** yaoi, domestic violence, AU, eventual incest.

 **Pairings:** At first KankuroxKiba but eventually GaaraxKankuro.

 **Summary:** Kankuro's abusive boyfriend is beating him up in fits of jealous rage. Gaara is worried but what can he do? At first KankuroxKiba but eventually GaaraxKankuro. AU, VIOLENCE, SANDCEST/INCEST.

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 **A/N:** _It is not totally clear to my why my stories always tend to have elements of abuse and violence, and this story will not be an exception to that rule. Enjoy – if that's your cup of tea._

 _The characters might be a bit OOC (especially Kankuro). I wanted to write a cute fluffy KankuGaa story (including lemon), but of course things spiraled out of control: I wanted it to be (somewhat) believable, I needed a plot, and before I knew it this story had reached its 33+K words length. It was too long to be released as a one-shot, so I divided it into four chapters._

 _This whole story was written within a week. I was like a maniac, fingers glued to the keyboard. ^_^ I've felt quite depressed lately, but now I feel the winds are changing and I'm hopefully heading up. There's nothing like writing a bit of violence and abuse to put anyone into a good mood, lol. Heh I'm kidding (right?)._

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 **Chapter 1**

 **/ / /  
**

It was an early, rainy morning and most people were still happily in their homes, sleeping or getting ready for the day's work. On the lonely and empty streets, in the middle of autumn's dull grayness, a small figure was walking hurriedly.

With his black umbrella, Gaara was heading home from the bus stop when his cell phone suddenly rang.

"Hello," he answered without looking who the caller was. At first, nothing could be heard from the other end of the line but silent sobbing. Surprised, he checked who was calling him.

"Kankuro?" Gaara asked, now worried. What was wrong?

"Gaara . . ." came a silent reply, then more sobbing.

"What's wrong?" Gaara asked, pressing the cell phone closer to his ear so that he could hear his brother's voice better.

"Could you . . . Could you come over? Right now?" the voice in the other end asked.

"Of course! I was just getting home from my night shift. I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Gaara promised and made a U-turn towards the bus stop. The next bus to Kankuro's district would leave in five minutes.

"Okay . . . Thanks. Bye," came a feeble voice, then came the beeping of the line signaling that the call was over.

After that, only the humming of the rain could be heard, reminding Gaara unpleasantly about his brother's sobbing.

 **/ / /  
**

Gaara got on the bus after a few minutes of waiting, happy that his red Converse shoes weren't wet—yet. As he sat down onto the bus bench, a grim expression came back to his face. He couldn't get Kankuro's sobby voice out of his mind. What on earth could've gotten his brother in a state like that? It was so out of ordinary for Kankuro to be anything else than happy . . .

Not more than in ten minutes Gaara was on the familiar district and got out of the bus. He walked hurriedly to an old apartment building and after entering via an annoyingly creaking front door, he went straight into the elevator. The buttons were old and worn-off, just like the whole building was, but Gaara knew that his brother couldn't afford better. Without hesitation, he pushed the button which read '3' and in no time, he was on the right floor.

For a brief moment, he stood behind the familiar door of his brother's apartment, as if memorizing the worn-off texture of the wooden surface. Everything in this building was old, reminding Gaara how his brother never minded about it. Then, after bracing himself for whatever was waiting for him, he rang the doorbell.

After a few seconds, the door to a small three room apartment opened and a wary looking man peeked out, as if afraid of opening the door further.

"Hello Kankuro, I came as fast as I could," Gaara said warmly yet a hint of worry could be detected in his voice.

"Come on in," Kankuro said quietly, his voice sore probably because of crying. Even though his sad voice didn't let it out, he was very happy that his younger brother was here to see him.

After the door closed, Gaara turned to Kankuro and whispered almost inaudibly, "Is he here?"

For an answer Kankuro only shook his head. Then he said silently, "He just left for work an hour ago."

"Good. I thought it would be better if we were alone," Gaara said, feeling the need to talk now that the brunette was so silent. Usually it was Kankuro who did the talking but today, the brunette seemed to have fallen quite silent.

In the silence, Gaara put his wet umbrella into the corner to dry and took off his shoes. Luckily, they were still dry despite the heavy raining. Lastly, he took off his black, velvet jacket and hung it onto the rack.

"Would you like to have something? Like tea?" Kankuro asked quietly, leading the way to the kitchen. "You must be cold. It's been raining the whole morning."

"I could have some tea if it's no problem," Gaara accepted.

As Kankuro concentrated in preparing the tea, Gaara took his time to take in the other man's appearance. Kankuro's naturally messy brown hair was now even messier than usually and under his eyes were dark circles from staying up too late in the night. The older brother was wearing only a pair of black pajama pants and a worn rock band T-shirt, attire Gaara wasn't used to seeing. Usually when they met Kankuro was dressed up properly and his hair was combed.

"You look like a mess," Gaara couldn't help but comment.

"Yeah I do," Kankuro said and tried to laugh it off. He had been awake almost the whole night and in the morning, he had been too tired to even take a shower.

"No but really, what's wrong? You sounded awfully depressed on the phone," Gaara said in a concerned voice.

"It's about Kiba . . ."

"Kiba?" Gaara asked, curious.

He didn't like the 22-year-old very much, even though he never showed his dislike straight to him. Kankuro knew of his dislike, but it was their secret. Ever since his brother and Kiba had started going out, Gaara had thought that something funny was going on. Sure Kankuro was happier than ever but whenever Gaara called his brother and Kiba answered, the boy only said that Kankuro couldn't come to the phone. From what Gaara knew, sometimes Kiba had even told Kankuro not to meet his brother so often, or at all.

Gaara didn't know what Kiba had against him, but whenever the three of them were together, Kiba let him somehow know that he wasn't wanted around. Sometimes Gaara had talked with one of Kankuro's friends, Shino, and the boy had had similar experiences—Kiba didn't seem to want anyone around Kankuro.

"What about Kiba?" Gaara asked, curious to know what the link was between that guy and the fact that his brother was suddenly this depressed.

"You remember when I told you yesterday that I was going to see Shino?" Kankuro started with a question. He didn't look at his little brother but the full tea cups that were now ready to be served.

"Yeah," Gaara answered and followed Kankuro as he took the tea cups to the living room coffee table.

"I told Kiba I was going to be home at 8 p.m. but me and Shino were playing Tekken, so I didn't notice the time fly by and so I wasn't home until 10:30 p.m.," Kankuro explained, sitting on the couch next to Gaara and staring into his tea cup.

"Yeah," Gaara said, willing his brother to continue.

When Kankuro didn't continue but looked even more depressed, Gaara couldn't help but get even more worried.

"What happened then?"

"I . . . When I came home Kiba was very upset with me and he wanted to know what we had been doing. He asked if we'd been . . . f-fucking and I said of course we hadn't. I would never do that to him! When I told him that we had been playing video games the whole time, he . . ." Kankuro trailed off.

"He what?" Gaara asked, concerned.

"He h-hit me," Kankuro said, his voice cracking. "And then he hit me again, and again . . . " the brunette continued, his voice trailing off where his sobbing started. Heavy raindrops hit the window just then and he felt like even the heavens were crying with him. He put the tea cup back to the coffee table and wiped his eyes, ashamed that he had been beaten up by his own boyfriend.

"Oh no!" Gaara exclaimed and put an arm around Kankuro's sobbing form. His skin burned temptingly where their bodies touched but he suppressed his thoughts, like on so many times before. He knew he was sick for feeling like this around his brother and besides, now was _not_ the time for _these_ feelings.

"You've got to tell the police!" Gaara said, confused about what would be the right thing to say. "Violence is always a crime."

"No!" Kankuro said through the sobs. "It's too shameful! They'd only laugh at me!"

"No one would laugh at you, I'm sure about that," Gaara assured and hugged Kankuro tighter.

"Yes they would! I'm 24 and they would only say that can't I defend myself," Kankuro cried, hiding his eyes behind his hands. This was all just too shameful but his little brother was the only person in the world who he could tell about this.

"I know you can defend yourself—"

"But it's not about that!" Kankuro interrupted. "I _didn't want to_ defend myself, not when _he_ did it. I kinda felt like deserving it, anyways . . ."

"Why would you feel like that, Kankuro? You didn't cheat Kiba in any way," Gaara said, his voice soft but his eyes holding even softer gaze. He was this caring towards no one else than his brother. His lovely brother . . .

"But I'm unemployed, STILL. And because I didn't call Kiba that I would be home later," Kankuro sobbed quietly.

"Well you didn't notice the time fly by, it's not your fault. If anything, it should be Kiba who should understand _you_. And it's not your fault you haven't got a job yet, there are many people who have lost their jobs because of this financial crisis," Gaara soothed his brother. His hand caressed Kankuro's back while his other hand held the brunette's hand.

"Whatever Kiba says, you didn't deserve it," Gaara continued soothingly.

"But he says I did!" Kankuro cried again.

"Well then he's wrong!" Gaara corrected. "I'm here for you, and you can trust that whatever I say is true. You didn't deserve the beating, no one would."

". . . Thanks," Kankuro whimpered through the sobs. His eyes were red and puffy because of all the crying.

"Anytime," Gaara whispered, still caressing the brunette's back.

". . . He hit me where no one would see the bruises," Kankuro suddenly told and pulled up his shirt. On his sides and stomach were large bruises, showing where Kiba's fists had hit him.

Tenderly, Gaara touched one of the bruises, a feather-light touch. "Do they hurt?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kankuro replied.

Gaara felt his cheeks grow warmer at the light touch. It was a shame how Kankuro's beautifully bulky body was now covered in ugly, wrongful bruises. Gaara would've wanted to touch more, to make Kankuro feel good, but he didn't dare. He wouldn't be able to tell when a touch meant as brotherly comfort would turn into an incestuous one, and in Kankuro's fragile state, he didn't want to confuse the brunette even more.

"You've got such a beautiful body," Gaara blurted out and once he realized what he'd said, he froze.

"What?" Kankuro asked, surprised, and pulled his shirt down again to cover his bruised body. His cheeks were tinted with pink as he thought about the words.

"I mean . . . It's so shame that you're covered in bruises because . . . I'm sorry," Gaara finished and looked at his lap, too ashamed to meet his brother's gaze.

"Nevermind," Kankuro muttered and stood up, collecting the now empty tea cups. He knew Gaara said sometimes things in a funny or weird way but now he felt like he needed to get out of the room.

Gaara got up, too and followed Kankuro into the kitchen. The raindrops were still hitting on the windows, their sound the only thing in the now quiet apartment.

"You've got to leave him," Gaara said and broke the uncomfortable silence.

"No," was Kankuro's instant reply. He put the dishes onto the sink to wait for later washing.

"What do you mean no, he's hurting you!" Gaara defended his point. He couldn't understand what could possibly keep Kankuro from leaving Kiba.

"I love him . . ." Kankuro whispered as he turned to face his little brother.

"But he clearly doesn't know how to show love, he's dangerous!" Gaara went on, even though a hurt expression came to Kankuro's face because of his words.

"He's not as bad as you think. I know he has his moments of jealousy but otherwise he's okay and very nice," Kankuro defended his boyfriend.

"Besides, I have no one else . . ." Kankuro trailed off, staring into the distance.

Kiba was a safe rock in the sea of life and with all he got, he clung onto him. At least Kiba got a proper job and he got paid well, and in the bed, the younger male was a real gentleman even though the dominance was sometimes too much for him. Not that he had anything against being on the bottom but he didn't like being tied up or otherwise restrained.

"You have me," Gaara reminded, his jade eyes shining with brotherly love. "And I will never leave you or let you down. You will always have me," Deep down, Gaara wished he could be something more than just a brother but his rational side always quickly doomed those burning wishes.

"I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Kankuro apologized. Gaara had always been there for him and more than anything else in the world, he loved his little brother.

"Don't apologize, it's alright," Gaara waved the apology off. "But Kankuro, I'm worried about you and I wonder if you should spend a couple of nights at my place, away from Kiba."

"No thanks, it'll be alright. After Kiba . . . hurt me, he cried and said he was sorry. He promised never to do it again," Kankuro said quietly, staring into the distance.

". . . But you're still hurt and the hurt won't go away even though he'd apologize a hundred of times," Gaara said, giving a stern look to the brunette.

"You're right. But we're staying together. And we have this apartment and all," Kankuro mused. Besides, Kiba paid their rent because he had no job. Without Kiba, he would be living on the streets or worse. Or at least so he thought.

"You could live with me, I have a job. And if you wanted, you could still go out with Kiba if he had proven to be trusted," Gaara said, doubting the young male's trustworthiness. "That way you would be safer than now."

"No, I'll be fine. Besides, I don't want to burden you," Kankuro said.

"It wouldn't be trouble at all, believe me when I say so," Gaara argued back.

"But I'm staying here, the end of story," Kankuro finished their conversation. He knew Gaara only meant well but in this business, no one could help him. Kiba loved him, he had said so yesterday many times, that was all that mattered.

"You should go now," Kankuro said after a brief silence as he looked at the clock.

"Why? Are you driving me away because of my opinions?" Gaara asked playfully. He wasn't playful around anyone else except his brother.

"No, but Kiba will be home in a couple of hours because he's having a short morning shift. I don't think you want to see him right now," Kankuro answered.

"Or maybe I should stay so that I could beat him up the second I see him," Gaara huffed, ready to defend his brother's pride.

"I wouldn't let you do that and you know it. Besides, shouldn't you go to sleep after that night shift you just had?" Kankuro asked, ruffling Gaara's hair.

"Alright, maybe I should go then. But please, call me if you're in trouble, or come to visit me. Please. It won't burden me at all," Gaara pleaded on their way to the door. He just wanted Kankuro's best, that's all.

"I will," Kankuro promised, even though he knew he wouldn't be in trouble anymore.

Kiba had promised never to hurt him again.

And as Kankuro thought about that, a golden ray of sun penetrated the grey clouds outside, streaming inside from the kitchen window.

 **/ / /  
**

After getting home, Gaara slumped onto the bed in his small one-room apartment.

He was dead tired, after working for ten hours in the 24h open grocery store and then spending a few hours in the company of his big brother, no matter how much he'd enjoyed the latter.

He glanced around, noticing that his apartment looked like a mess. Oh boys, just what he needed. So before he could get to sleep he would have to clean up, for being a relatively tidy person, he refused to sleep in a trashy room.

Taking a vacuum cleaner out of the cleaning cupboard, he got to the task at hand.

After two more hours, his one-room apartment looked a lot tidier. No more dust and dirt on the just-washed floors, and the undetermined heaps of clothes that had lain on the corner just moments ago, were now tidily put into a wardrobe.

After this huge achievement, Gaara slumped onto the bed again and admired his work . . . until his eyes caught the sight on the sink: a pile of dirty dishes waiting to be washed.

 _Damn,_ Gaara thought and decided to do it later. Now he was so tired that he had no energy to do such a thing. His stomach grumbled, telling him he should eat, for the last meal he had had was over fourteen hours ago.

But he didn't, for he remembered that Kankuro had once told him that skinny boys were beautiful. Like Kiba, he was rather thin. Gaara knew that he himself was thin, too but not skinny enough. So he skipped the meal, hoping that one day, Kankuro would notice him.

His eyelids were like lead by now and slowly, they closed, allowing Gaara to go into the realm of dreams.

The last rational thought he had was how Kankuro was doing at the moment. Hopefully, everything was fine.

 **/ / /  
**

In the past hours, the raining had only increased and it had even thundered a couple of times. Kankuro was worried that Kiba might get wet on his way back home, for the younger brunette had a tendency to forget things like umbrellas.

Not long after these thoughts, there were noises from the front door and soon in walked a familiar man.

"I'm home!" Kiba yelled happily as he entered the apartment. He put his wet umbrella on the hallway table—he hadn't forgotten it after all—and soon, his boyfriend emerged from the kitchen.

"What took you so long? I was getting worried," Kankuro greeted him, a smile on his face. Gaara had left about an hour or two ago.

"I had to work overtime, sorry honey," Kiba explained and gave his boyfriend a kiss. "I missed you, babe."

"I missed you too," Kankuro said happily, pleased that his lover was in a good mood. Every time he moved, the bruises hurt but he ignored the pain. Now everything was well and it was all that mattered.

After getting off his black Converse shoes, Kiba went to their bedroom to change off his uncomfortable work clothes and spoke from there. "God I was so horny at work! It was hell!"

"I see," Kankuro replied from the kitchen. He had to raise his voice so that Kiba could hear him. "You want some action tonight?"

"Oh do I!" Kiba said enthusiastically as he now entered the kitchen. With him, he carried handcuffs. To him, restraining his partner was a turn-on and tonight, he wanted to make their evening special. He was still sorry for what he'd done to Kankuro last night and thought that some good sex would make everything up.

"I bet you do," Kankuro managed to say before the eager younger male sealed their lips into a passionate kiss. "Mmh . . ." Kankuro moaned, feeling himself hardening. Sooner than he could even notice, Kiba had guided his hands behind his back and handcuffed them.

"Hey!" Kankuro exclaimed after he noticed his restraints. To him, handcuffs were a turn-off.

"I thought you'd like them, bitch" Kiba talked dirty, getting even hornier than before.

"Ah . . ." Kankuro gasped and blushed as Kiba pushed him against the sink, their hardened members pressing against each other. Kankuro didn't like to be called dirty names but he let it be, thinking that maybe if Kiba got his way the good mood wouldn't be broken.

But it was then that Kiba noticed the two empty tea cups on the sink.

"Who was here?" Kiba barked instantly, his eyes narrowing and the love-filled gaze turning into an accusing one.

"Was it Shino?" he growled, suddenly gripping Kankuro by the T-shirt.

"What? N-No," Kankuro stuttered, caught off guard by his lover's sudden change in demeanor. He hadn't expected Kiba to mind if he had guests.

"You're lying! I bet it was Shino," Kiba said in an accusing voice and jerked Kankuro to the floor. Jealously burned inside of him as he remembered how not too long ago, his previous partner had cheated on him.

An 'oof' escaped through Kankuro's lips as he hit the floor with his side. The bruises on his body hurt like hell but he tried to ignore it, taking the pain like a real man should. He was lying on his side on the floor, muttering quietly, "It wasn't Shino . . ."

"Then who was it?" Kiba asked, putting his foot on top of Kankuro's shoulder.

"It was Gaara," Kankuro answered truthfully, hoping that this little show would be soon over. He was scared now and because of his restraints, he felt even more vulnerable than yesterday.

"Did you tell him?" Kiba asked angrily, putting more weight to the foot that lay on top of Kankuro.

"Tell him what?" Kankuro asked, trying to play dumb. Maybe it would end this fight.

"Don't lie to me, you know what I mean. You _always_ tell him everything, don't you," Kiba spat the words, jealous of Kankuro and Gaara's special bond.

"I didn't," Kankuro lied, hoping Kiba would buy it.

But he had no such luck. It didn't take even two seconds before the first kick landed on his stomach, knocking the air out of him.

"Ouch!" Kankuro cried, tears coming to his eyes. It hurt like hell but he tried his best not to show it. Maybe this really was what he deserved . . .

"You liar!" Kiba yelled in rage, kicking again. "You lying slut! You fuck everyone behind my back, don't you!?" He was sure of it, it had to be so. Sai had been like that, too, so why would Kankuro be any different?

"No, I would never—aah!" Kankuro said as the third kick landed on his stomach. Tears streamed down his eyes not only because of the physical hurt, but because of the emotional hurt, too. How could Kiba think he cheated on him, when he practically adored him, worshipped him.

"I l-lov—" Kankuro tried but couldn't finish as the fourth kick hit his stomach. It was then he tasted copper in his mouth and right after that he coughed blood, spitting the stuff onto the floor.

"I know you cheat on me, that's why you were so happy that I had to stay so late at work," Kiba said, gripping Kankuro's now bloody white T-shirt and lifting him to a sitting position.

"No! I was happy because you _came home!_ " Kankuro explained hurriedly, still coughing some blood. _Please, no more hurting, no more,_ Kankuro prayed, tears pouring down from his eyes down to his wet cheeks.

"I . . . I'm so sorry h-honey," Kiba started to cry as he looked at his lover's bloody and wet face. How could he do such a thing to another person? But his confusion was overcome with anger, as the rage of jealousy hadn't still left him, and the haunting memories of Sai still plagued his mind.

"It's o-okay I forgi—Aah!" Kankuro yelled as a fist landed on his very sore stomach. _Why God, why?_ he thought, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. What had he done to deserve this?

"I'm so sorry I hurt you again," Kiba cried, his face now almost as wet as Kankuro's. What had he done again? He was a . . . monster! But he couldn't help himself, not when he was so scared that Kankuro would actually betray him.

"I l-love you . . ." Kankuro managed, for the pain in his stomach was affecting his ability of speech.

"I love you too, you know that don't you?" Kiba sobbed, now hugging Kankuro. "I'm sorry babe, so sorry!" he whispered into the older brunette's ear. "Will you ever forgive me?"

"Of course," Kankuro whispered back, sobbing. Tears still burned in his eyes and his stomach hurt like hell.

"But you know . . . you kinda deserved this, for not telling me that Gaara was here," Kiba started, as he looked into Kankuro's beautifully black eyes.

"What?" Kankuro asked in a rasped voice, his eyes widening in surprise. What was Kiba talking about? Only today, Gaara had told him that none of this was his fault.

"If you had told me straight away that Gaara had been here, I wouldn't have needed to doubt you, dear," Kiba reasoned. "You know how paranoid I am, I can't help it."

"I know you can't," Kankuro said lovingly, for he adored his lover. Kiba was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. Being bullied in the middle school and high school for being gay, no one had been interested in him. People had only avoided him and called him names. Only when he had turned 23 he had met Kiba at some party, and the younger male had fallen for him instantly. Such attention from Kiba had raised his self-respect dramatically, and soon after, they had moved in to live together.

"It's not your fault. I understand you," Kankuro whispered and looked at Kiba affectionately. Kiba was his first boyfriend, his first lover ever, and he didn't want to lose him.

"Thanks, you're a great person, Kankuro," Kiba said, tears coming to his eyes as he thought how noble and understanding his boyfriend was. From the moment he'd seen Kankuro for the first time, he'd known that they were made for each other. He had just broken up with Sai, and the fact that Kankuro had accepted his love had meant a world to him.

"I . . . I l-love you," Kankuro whispered, his black, friendly eyes shining like stars.

"I love you too, honey," Kiba answered, and kissed the last of Kankuro's tears away.

It was the sweetest thing Kiba had done to Kankuro, and so the older brunette smiled, happily. Kiba was sometimes so sensitive and even romantic, and it made Kankuro love his boyfriend even more.

"You won't leave me, please . . . " Kiba suddenly whimpered, his eyes filling with unshed tears. Kankuro meant a world to him, he couldn't lose the brunette. Even though he couldn't control his jealousy sometimes, it didn't mean he couldn't change.

"I would never," Kankuro said, leaning in and kissing Kiba on the cheek. If he had his hands free, he would've dried the tears that were in his lover's eyes. Kiba was really one of the best things in his life. Still, in some nightmares, he heard his bullies' voices: _"Get him, he's a fag!"_ or _"Don't stop hitting him,"_ or even _"You like it, don't you little cocksucker."_ And the last one was officially Kankuro's worst memory, and whenever he saw nightmares about it, he woke up all sweaty and screaming.

But after he had met Kiba, the nightmares had eased a bit. So in a way, Kiba was his savior.

"And I'd never leave you, babe," Kiba said, smiling shyly. He then remembered the handcuffs and took them off, freeing Kankuro's hands.

It still rained heavily outside and the large water drops drummed against the window. There was no sunshine but Kankuro knew that behind all those dark clouds, the sun still shone down on them.

 **/ / /  
**

It was his day off. He sighed deeply and relished for it. He was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling, at the streaks of sunlight that flooded into his tiny apartment.

Gaara's happy indolence was interrupted, however, when somebody rang the doorbell.

Hastily, he got up and walked to the door ― it was only a couple of long steps given how small this place was. He straightened his shirt, and it was only then it crossed his mind what he was wearing: a tight tank top and boxer briefs. He was about to go back and find something less . . . revealing, when the doorbell rang again.

With some sort of urgency, he went to the door however and opened it.

"Hi, is it a bad time?" Kankuro asked as he glanced at him from head to toe.

"No, come on in," Gaara said. He dismissed his earlier thoughts of finding something more decent to wear. Kankuro didn't think of him _like that_ , so there was no need to cover up.

They walked into his living room, which was also his bedroom and a kitchen. Convenient how these modern, cramped residences that architects seemed to love could wrap all of life's necessities into one single room.

"So. . . Kiba let you out of the house?" Gaara asked, as they sat down on his unmade bed.

"Of course," Kankuro said instantly, looking at him with a slight defiance. "He's not like that."

Gaara knew the younger male was _exactly_ like that. Nevertheless, he was happy to see his brother, so he didn't want to bring up his well-known opinions this time.

"Has he been behaving well lately?" Gaara asked.

"Yeah . . . " Kankuro replied, his voice confident but something in his eyes had changed. And soon, the big brother was looking elsewhere.

Gaara frowned a bit, and studied his brother for a moment. His black clothes covered up everything but his face and hands, and on that exposed area of skin, he couldn't see any marks of domestic violence.

"Maybe it was a one-time lapse, then," he pondered aloud, searching his brother's face.

"It was." And now Kankuro looked at him again, his eyes matching the confidence his voice had. "I told you he's a good guy."

"I know," Gaara replied, once again deciding to keep his opinions to himself.

Kankuro was still staring at him, and his expression had softened. The rays of sunlight flooding into the room almost competed with the caring look on his face. Suddenly, Gaara felt so bare under that stare, and he became once again aware of his scarce clothing.

"Thanks for caring," Kankuro spoke with a gentle voice. "I know you're worried. You don't have to be."

"Move in with me," the redhead replied, surprising himself, too. His thoughts had come out weird once again, and judging by the confused look on his brother's face, he thought so, too.

Kankuro glanced around the tiny apartment. His gaze moved from the TV in the corner to the kitchenette on the other wall, to a cramped closet and a drawer placed next to a window, and finally, his gaze stopped to the bed they were currently sitting on. It was large enough for two, but because of that, there was no room for a sofa in here.

With a brotherly smile, he turned to his little brother. "How would the two of us fit in here, anyway?"

"I'm almost always at work, so you'd have the place to yourself for the most of the time," Gaara explained. It was nice that Kankuro had spared a thought to his silly idea, even though he knew his brother would never move in with him.

"What about at night. Where would I sleep?" Kankuro asked, once again looking around for that non-existent sofa.

"Well," Gaara began, mastering his best monotonous voice. For the most of the time, people seemed to assume he was some emotionless, reserved non-human asexual. That idea was stupid and far from the truth, but at moments like this, he adopted that assumed persona rather gladly.

"The bed is wide enough for two."

"Haha, yeah," Kankuro laughed like a big brother amused by the silliness of his younger sibling. "But don't you think it'd be weird for adult brothers to sleep next to each other?"

"No," Gaara replied truthfully, with a top notch impassive voice. _He_ wouldn't mind it, at all.

"I'll keep your offer in mind," the big brother smiled, and instantly the redhead knew that never in a million years would his brother take his offer into any consideration.

"By the way," Gaara changed the topic. "I talked to Shino the other day. I bumped into him on my way to work. He told me he hasn't seen you for a long time."

"Yeah, that's true," Kankuro said, shrugging casually. "We've both been busy."

"He told me you haven't even called him, since . . ."

"I told you I've been busy," the brunette said calmly, but the undertone in his voice carried a slight nuance of annoyance.

"He has tried to call you," Gaara told, and now his brother was looking elsewhere, again.

"He has?" the brunette asked, like it was a surprise to him.

"He has. Many times. Why haven't you answered?" the redhead asked, waiting for his brother to meet his eyes, but it didn't happen.

"I haven't been near the phone," Kankuro explained.

"I see," Gaara accepted, still keenly studying his brother. In a comforting manner, he put his other arm around his brother's waist and pulled him into a brotherly sideways hug.

Kankuro tensed, his lips a tight, grave line and his breath caught in his throat.

"Are you okay?" Gaara asked in worry.

"Yep, never better," the big brother said, pulling the redhead into his arms and hugging him back.

Gaara noticed that the tenseness never left the brunette, instead his movements seemed to be restrained and forced. He broke free from the hug and stared at Kankuro.

"He's hurt you again, hasn't he?" Gaara asked with a raised voice.

"No . . ." Kankuro denied, looking at his brother like he had just said the most absurd thing in the world.

"He has," Gaara said, desperation and anger rising in him. He took a hold of the hem of Kankuro's shirt and pulled it up, revealing the tanned, well-toned torso that was―

"Gaara!" Kankuro exclaimed, pulling down his shirt and scooting away. There was a slight pink hue on his cheeks that didn't quite go together with the angry look in his coal-black eyes.

"There are bruises!" the redhead almost yelled, coming closer. "You've got to leave him!"

"No!" Kankuro said sternly and got up. "He said this is the last time. He won't do it again."

"Didn't he say that the . . . last time?" Gaara asked with a grave voice.

"Look, I know," Kankuro admitted, the anger slightly vanishing from his figure. "But he promised, and I trust him."

"No," Gaara began, shaking his head. "No," he repeated again, standing up, too. He looked at his brother in the eyes pleadingly. "No, Kankuro. You have to leave him. He won't change."

"But he will, you just don't know him. He . . . he's had a hard life, and because of that, he tends to overreact sometimes," Kankuro explained. "But he said he will change, because―"

"Because he loves you," Gaara finished the sentence.

"Yes," the brunette said, a little smile-like expression ghosting on his lips. "He loves me."

Gaara shook his head in exasperation. He wanted to help his brother out of this situation. That pitiful scumbag with over-eager fists would be the end of Kankuro, if he couldn't figure out a way to intervene in some way. Why did his brother so willingly refuse to see the facts?

"I know it might be hard for you to see where I'm coming from," Kankuro spoke, "But once you experience such unconditional love from someone, you'll understand. I know Kiba has his minor flaws, but he's trying, he really is."

"Look," Gaara replied patiently. "There are other people in the world who would be interested in you."

"Like who?" Kankuro asked, confused, rising his eyebrow.

 _Like me,_ Gaara thought to himself, lowering his gaze. He was aware of his brother's low self-esteem and the scars the bullies had left on his fragile psyche. It was not totally Kankuro's fault that he now clung onto the first guy who had shown romantic interest in him. With a sigh, Gaara shook his head, driving away his stupid feelings once again, and met his brother's questioning stare.

"I'm sure a lot of people would love you. Your goodheartedness and loyalty are something special, not to mention your sense of humor," the redhead told, holding his brother's hands in his.

"Thanks," Kankuro smiled faintly.

His brother's words warmed up his mind, and it was nice someone thought he had all those qualities. Still, his little brother did not truly know the depth of his scars, and how hard it was for him to connect with other people. Kiba had been an exception straight from the beginning. No one else had ever lifted his spirits like him, and the occasional overreactions wouldn't change the fact.

He knew Kiba had been stressed out lately, with his parents and because of workplace dynamics, too. He loved him, and he wanted to support him, and that was why he didn't want to cause him any extra worry. And if that meant staying out of contact with Shino, then be it.

 **/ / /  
**

At home, Kiba was watching television. The soft clink of plates carried from the kitchen, then the sound of running water. His beloved Kankuro was doing the dishes, after making him a delicious dinner. They had agreed that since Kankuro was unemployed, he should do all the housework around here. That would keep him busy during daytime, too.

When he had been coming home from work, he had seen something from the corner of his eye. At first, he had dismissed it and thought it was just a mix-up.

But then, he had taken a few steps back and looked again.

Through the window of the coffee shop, he had seen Kankuro and Shino sitting at a table, laughing and having a good time. They were even toasting their coffee cups in the air.

And now, his beloved brunette was humming quietly, once again unaware of his presence. From behind, he entwined his arms around him, his touch so demanding and hungry that it made the older male tense and then wince. The bruises were still hurting, it seemed.

"I love you," Kiba breathed, resting his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"I love you, too," Kankuro whispered, pressing his cheek against Kiba's. This moment felt nice, even though the reminder of his aching bruises made him a bit nervous.

"Thanks for the wonderful meal," Kiba said affectionately, breathing into his ear. The whisper made shivers run up and down Kankuro's spine.

"Anything for you," the older man said, smiling softly. He leaned more against Kiba's body, into that warm, possessive hug. He liked possession, it made him feel wanted, it made him feel _needed_.

"Really? Anything?" Kiba asked, his hands gently tracing down the brunette's body, from his pecs to his stomach, down to his hips . . . And there, he squeezed and pressed his groin against him.

"Yeah," Kankuro breathed, feeling heat gather up into his groin. And as if the other had read his mind, a soft yet tempting kiss was placed on his neck. He was about to lean deeper into that titillating contact, when Kiba suddenly pulled away.

Kankuro turned around, some sort of a confused look on his face.

With a sweet smile, Kiba looked at him, coming closer and holding his chin gently with his fingertips.

"Good," he said, placing a soft kiss on the brunette's lips. "How about that lepidopterist, then?"

"You mean Shino?" Kankuro asked. His friend loved to collect butterflies and other kinds of bugs. It was a weird hobby to be honest, but it made him all the more interesting person. "What about him?"

"You said you won't see him again," Kiba cooed, gently caressing the tanned skin on his boyfriend's face.

"Yeah I said," Kankuro knew, once again leaning into the touch.

"It was a promise," the younger man whispered, leaning closer, their lips almost brushing against each other.

"Yes," Kankuro agreed, entwining his arms around his boyfriend, caressing his sides and then settling his hands on his hips. He was about to press his hips against his lover's, when the other suddenly tensed all over.

Kiba looked at him pointedly, and the sudden change in his demeanor perplexed Kankuro. His chin was once again gripped, but now the touch was not tempting or teasing, but demanding.

"Then explain to me why you were at the café with him today."

Kankuro gulped, and the grip tightened. His inner panic was rising, and hastily he was trying to come up with what to say, so that things wouldn't escalate out of hand, this time. He had been cautious to meet his friend, certainly aware of the promise he had made. Back then, he had deemed the idea of going to Shino's place as too risky, and certainly the man couldn't come here, for obvious reasons. So that's why they had decided to meet in a nearby coffee shop. Finally, he was able to breathe out, "He wanted to see me."

"Is that so?" Kiba asked, disbelieving. "Then why did you agree to meet him?"

"He had some news he refused to tell me on the phone," Kankuro explained, shifting uncomfortably under the grip.

"What news?" Kiba barked, trying to retain his calmness.

"Well . . . he, he got that job he's been dreaming for years. At the Konoha Museum. He'll be working in the biological department," the brunette said, moving his head to get free of the oppressing touch. "And he said . . . that maybe he could get a job for me in there, too."

"Really," Kiba whispered, withdrawing his hands and stepping away a few inches.

"Yeah, wouldn't that be great?" Kankuro asked, a little edge of happiness clear in his voice. "We would be financially more stable, and you wouldn't have to provide for me, anymore."

"No."

"No?"

"What about the housework?" Kiba asked, glancing around.

"Well . . . we could," Kankuro began, but when he saw the other raise his eyebrow, he corrected, "I mean _I could_ do the housework in the evening."

"Hmm," Kiba pondered. "I don't think you want that job. You could do so much better."

"Look, it's not like there are plenty of jobs for me to get, so I really think I should take this."

"To me it sounds like you really want to work with _him_ ," Kiba pointed out, his voice a bit too light, a bit too _carefree_ for Kankuro's liking.

"It's not that," Kankuro assured. "I just want the money, that's all I care."

"If that's the case, then you probably won't mind if you stay home and I give you a weekly allowance for the work you do around the house," Kiba said calmly, shrugging.

"That's not the same," Kankuro pointed out, a little exasperated. "I want this job."

"You want to work with _him._ "

"That's not the point," Kankuro said, taking a slight step further away from his boyfriend.

"That is the point _exactly_ ," Kiba hissed, and dramatically left the room. After a moment, the bedroom door slammed shut.


	2. II

**/ / / HOPE / / /  
**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.

* * *

 **/ / /  
**

 **Chapter 2**

 **/ / /  
**

"Umm . . . What the hell is _that_?" Kankuro asked.

"Oh, this?" Shino asked, taking a hold of the little jar that he had placed on the cafeteria table.

It was a clear glass jar which seemed to contain a big, black, rhino-resembling bug. Kankuro was already used to his friend's weird enthusiasm of insects, but this particular bug unnerved him for some reason.

"This is Richard," Shino explained.

". . . Richard?" Kankuro repeated, and stopped forking food into his mouth.

"Yes," the dark haired man explained and turned to look at the brunette. His sunglasses flashed as the fluorescent lights hit them. "He passed away yesterday."

"Aww man, I'm sorry," Kankuro said, draping his hand over the table and patting his friend on the shoulder. "Has, uh, has _he_ anything to do with the recent pest controlling incident in your apartment building, or what was his story again?"

Shino looked at him in silence, before returning his attention to the unmoving bug.

"He is a rhinoceros beetle, not a pest," he glanced knowingly at his friend, "And he was a beloved pet for a long time for me."

Before Kankuro could comment, Shino continued. "And the reason I brought him here today is that I plan to give him to the museum's inclusive collection of dynastinae."

Then, he lifted his gaze and looked up into the ceiling, into the blueish, flickering luminescent lamps. "In that way, he will reach the kind of immortality he deserves, and bring enlightenment for the generations to come."

"That's deep," Kankuro said, finishing his lunch. Now that he looked at the rhino bug again, it didn't look so creepy, anymore. In a way, he even felt sorry the little guy.

"I knew you would understand," Shino spoke after some time. "You're a good friend."

"Thanks, you too buddy," Kankuro smiled, but then his expression turned to serious. "Sorry I have been a bit distant lately."

"That is okay," his friend nodded equally serious. "I understand that in the beginning of a relationship, you only have time for your loved-one."

With a sad little smile, Kankuro looked away, his eyes momentarily stopping at the black bug. Shino was a great guy, a great friend. Some lucky lady would get a perfect husband out of him, someday. Or maybe he wasn't into that kind of thing, he wasn't sure. They had never discussed about the dark haired man's orientation.

And Kankuro had never told him about Kiba's violent behavior, for he had wanted to spare him from that knowledge. He didn't want Shino to look at him with that same worrisome look Gaara always had. The fewer people knew about what was going on at home, the better. He could manage this on his own.

"What got you looking so sad?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Kankuro dismissed, forcing a friendly smile on his face. "Just feeling sorry for the little guy I guess," he then said, pointing at the jar.

"I'm sure Richard would be very honored by your condolences," Shino said, and bowed his head a little in appreciation.

"Yeah," Kankuro replied, looking gently at his friend. He was a really nice guy, in his own weird way. Now, his eyes were hidden behind those sunglasses, but whenever he took them off, he was always captured by those dark, intellectual orbs.

Shaking his head, he stood up, as they both had already finished their lunches. Together, they made their way out of the cafeteria, and headed back to the work.

In the late hours of afternoon, they were packing their things, ready to leave for the day. They had been working together for some weeks now, and Kankuro had to admit that he had really enjoyed his time here. His self-respect had strengthened without him really noticing, and once again, he felt like a fully appreciated member of the society. He had an interesting job, easygoing colleagues and money of his own. This kind of independency had lacked in his life earlier, and now that he had it, he felt stronger than ever.

"Do you want to have some coffee on the way home?" Shino asked him, his face once again unreadable.

"Maybe . . . " Kankuro replied, shrugging.

Under the surface, he was pondering whether or not it would be too risky. Kiba had an evening shift today, which meant that he was at work now. He wouldn't be back at home until 10 p.m.

"Sure, let's get some coffee," Kankuro then confirmed, smiling at his friend.

They walked down the hall, Shino as quiet as usual, but something told Kankuro that something was on his mind. He put his hand on his shoulder, as they walked on, through the front doors into the sunshine.

"What's on your mind?" he asked, trying to see behind those glasses to get a grasp of what the other was thinking.

Shino stopped, and abruptly Kankuro halted too, his grip on his shoulder tightening. His friend wasn't looking at him, but into the distance.

"Shino . . ." he began, with a gentle tone.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Shino asked, and nodded ahead.

Kankuro snapped his head into the direction, automatically letting go of his friend, stepping and inch away. It really was Kiba, leaning against his car and . . . smoking a cigarette?

With some sort of uncertainty, he waved his hand at him, and then whispered to Shino without looking at him. "I have to go now, let's get coffee some other time, okay?"

"Alright. See you tomorrow," his friend replied, and remained standing on the spot.

With brisk steps, Kankuro hurried to the car and to his surprise, Kiba opened the door for him. A little self-conscious, he got in. Still a cigarette in his mouth, Kiba walked around the car and got in, too. He started the engine and then pulled off from the parking lot.

"I thought you had an evening shift," Kankuro started, coughing lightly at the smoke.

"They re-scheduled me," Kiba explained, eyes on the road. His other hand was holding the wheel, and with the other one he opened the window just enough to shed some ashes outside.

Kankuro didn't know what to say. He couldn't detect any sour mood from his boyfriend, but the odd quietness bothered him. And what was with the cigarette all of a sudden? As far as he knew, Kiba never smoked, unless drunk or under great stress.

And he couldn't be drunk if he was driving, so . . .

"How was it at work?" Kankuro asked with a neutral tone of voice.

"Same shit every day," was the answer.

Now, there was some sourness detectable from the brown haired male. Kankuro fell silent and looked away. Maybe if he just stayed quiet he wouldn't manage to piss off his boyfriend even more. He wanted to tell him how purposeful and interesting his day had been, but he didn't think now would be the right time for that. And he wanted to tell him about that weird bug, too, but immediately decided against it. Any Shino-related story might be interpreted in the wrong way, anyway.

At home, Kankuro did his usual chores: the dinner, the dishes, the occasional tidying up, and the laundry. His boyfriend was watching TV, and his silence worried him. Maybe something had happened at work?

In a purposely calm way, he sat down next to him, and tentatively put an arm around him. Then, he padded his leg lightly, lovingly. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

Kiba sighed, and slowly tore his gaze away from the TV screen, to meet the loving eyes of his boyfriend.

"It was just a rough day at work, that's all."

"Was it your father?" Kankuro asked.

"Yeah," Kiba laughed dryly, shaking his head. "He knows I hate it when he bosses me around."

"But he _is_ your boss," the brunette pointed out.

"Don't remind me," Kiba whined, his shoulders slumping even more. "I swear someday I'll found my own company, and compete him out of the business."

"Yeah, you do that," Kankuro encouraged, pleased to see the determination back in him. That was the fearless Kiba he knew and loved.

"You know what would really take my mind off these things?" Kiba smirked, tracing his finger down his boyfriend's chest.

"Ah man, I'm so tired," Kankuro said apologetically. He had just finished all the housework for the day and the clock was near midnight already. And tomorrow, he would have to get up early.

"I'll make you even more tired," Kiba cooed seductively, his hand traveling south quite straightforwardly, to caress the brunette's member through the pants.

"Ah, Kiba," Kankuro smiled tiredly, trying to pay no attention to his lower regions that were just waking up, responding to the teasing touches. "Not tonight."

"Not tonight?" Kiba repeated, and leaned away. There was an unreadable look in his eyes. "And why not?"

"I'm not in the mood," Kankuro said and instantly, regretted his poor choice of words. It was a mistake. "I mean, I'm tired and―"

"You were all over that friend of yours, practically hugging him as you walked, and now you say you're not in the mood?" Kiba growled, his hand lingering on the chest of Kankuro's shirt.

"No, I didn't mean―"

 _Punch._

It hurt. He tasted copper, and he felt the hard armrest of the couch hit the back of his head. It wasn't clear to him which sensation came first, but now the taste of copper was so strong in his mouth that he had to spit. His head spun and his face hurt, his cheek ached, had his boyfriend really hit him . . . in the face?

"K-Kiba . . . I―"

 _A punch. And another._

He was on the floor now, wasn't he? It was hard to breathe, and everything hurt, and as focus returned into his vision, he saw Kiba crouched on top of him, _chocking_ him.

"I . . . P- _plea_ . . . _se_ ―" he tried, in vain.

"You cheating fuck!" his boyfriend growled and shook him by the neck, the back of his head hitting floor each time.

"I―I'm _not_ . . . !" Kankuro managed to breathe.

And right then, the grip on his throat vanished and he gasped for air, instinctively touching his own throat. He had known his beloved boyfriend would come into his senses, sooner or later. It was a ridiculous idea to even think that _he_ of all people would _ever_ cheat on him. How could he, when he adored him, worshipped him, and almost kissed the ground Kiba walked on?

"Kiba . . . I l-lo―" he said as he was trying to get up, but his sore throat muted the rest of the syllables.

 _Kick._

What the hell, he gasped in his mind as pain shot through his body again, and he fell on his side, automatically shielding his face with his hands.

"N-No . . . D-don't―!"

 _Two kicks._

And there was copper again, and he coughed, spitting warm fluid out of his mouth. He wanted this to end, he didn't deserve this, did he? At least not to this extent.

"You cheating piece of trash," Kiba spat heatedly, and crouched down again on the brunette's level. He gripped the brown hair, and shook his head tightly. "Look at me."

Kankuro obeyed, fearfully glancing at his angry boyfriend. He didn't dare to do anything else than to obey, whatever was to come.

"Now," Kiba spoke calmly, taking something out from his pocket.

Kankuro could not see what it was, and then the younger man sat on his chest, capturing his arms under his weight. And then his hair was grabbed again, and he heard a soft click.

"Ah―", Kankuro gasped as a lighter was brought into his vision. The flame flickered menacingly.

"Now, _Kankuro,_ " Kiba started with an ominously calm voice, bringing the flame closer to the brunette's face. "I want you to answer some questions."

For an answer, Kankuro let out a scared breath, unable to find his voice. He couldn't decide which was more horrifying: the hotter than hot flame or the distant look in his boyfriend's eyes.

"Did you fuck with him?"

"No! No, gosh Kiba!" Kankuro exclaimed instantly. He could feel the heat against his cheek, and he was afraid, he was frigging mortified what it could do to his skin. He tried to move his face away from the heat, it was an instinct, but the grip in his hair prevented him, and he looked pleadingly at his boyfriend's eyes, the heat of the flame constantly reminding him of what could happen, and he hoped Kiba would realize he spoke the truth. And then the heat moved further away, and he sighed, but was unable to let go of the mortifying sense of oncoming doom.

"Do you like him?"

"You mean . . . as a friend? Or . . . " Kankuro pondered, and when the heat came closer he realized his mistake, his stupid, _stupid_ choice of words, and he screamed already as the flame got nearer, it burned, it fucking _burned_ him! He wriggled, but he couldn't get away, and it freaking _burned_ and _hurt_ and he prayed and he was sure he was beginning to cry if he already wasn't and―

"I don't like him!" he screamed through the tears, his eyes pursed closed, his brain overflowing with pain, and his skin was probably _on fire_ , it sure felt like it, oh god was he going to _die_? "I really don't like him!"

And then the flame was gone, again. He opened his eyes, cautiously, only to see the cold look his boyfriend was giving him.

"Took you quite long to answer, don't you think?" Kiba asked, looking down at the face covered in tears and blood and snot, and a first-degree burn. Then, he put off the flame.

He got off his boyfriend, and stood up. Without looking back, he exited the living room.

Kankuro remained on the floor, too shocked to move. His face hurt so much he didn't even dare to touch it. What the hell had just happened? A soft rustling noise carried from the bedroom, then a soft clink of Kiba's belt buckle. Kankuro listened carefully. What should he do?

After what felt like an hour, he had gathered the courage to stand up. No noises had been heard for a long, long time. It was likely that his stressed-out boyfriend had fallen asleep. With this comforting knowledge in mind, he stood up, every movement measured to minimize the inevitable pain. There was blood and spit on the floor, and his shirt, his _favorite_ shirt, was messed up with blood, too. He sighed, but didn't let the tears come, not now. Cautiously he peeked into the darkened bedroom, at Kiba's unmoving figure lying on the bed. His back was turned to him, so he couldn't see his face. The stable and calm breaths indicated that the man was fast asleep.

Quietly, Kankuro made his way into the bathroom. When he saw himself in the mirror, he gasped. His face looked _awful_. He thought of washing it, but the idea of water touching his broken skin felt revolting, so he just let it be. He felt tears gather in his eyes but he refused to shed them. The least he could do was to change his bloodied shirt. He went through the hamper, but couldn't find anything suitable other than his old, black hooded jacket. All their clean clothes were in the bedroom closets, and he didn't dare to go there in fear of waking up Kiba.

Defeated, he put on the hoodie and pulled up the zipper. He put the hood over his head, thankful of the little shelter it gave to his appearances.

In the hallway, he gave one last glance at the direction of the bedroom. No noises could be heard, it was silent, almost eerily so. He was tempted to take the car, but knew that Kiba would kill him if he did it without his permission. And there was no way he would go by bus, looking like this!

A little defeated but still determined, he slipped out of the apartment, deciding he would go by foot.

 **/ / /  
**

A hot meal sounded tempting. He really wanted to eat.

Then again, he had already had an apple and a sandwich, how much more food did he really need?

With a sigh, he took a step and left the few square meters that counted as a kitchen. Now he was standing in his bedroom, which was really almost all of the room. His stomach rumbled, but he ignored it.

He had just had an evening shift. Tomorrow, he would have a day off. He frowned as he thought about it, for he really would've rather worked than stayed at home. He needed the money, and his boss had―kindly but rather reluctantly―given him a good amount of extra shifts he had asked for. One day, he would have enough money to leave this tiny hell hole.

A silent knock on his door alerted him.

He sighed, rubbing his face. That better not be his upstairs neighbor coming home from the bar again. That voluptuous woman (Tsunade or what was her name again?) had the infuriating habit of forgetting which floor she lived in, thus ending up knocking on his door _every frigging time_. Gaara had just the tiniest bit of feeling that she did that on purpose, just to get a look of him in his boxer briefs. For some reason, she _never_ mixed up her door with that old pervert, Jiraya or something, living above her. No, it was always this door she was banging at.

He thought of not answering the door at all, when the tiny knock sounded again.

That didn't sound like his neighbor at all. It was too gentle and even apologetic.

Curiously, he opened the door, and gasped.

"Kankuro!" he couldn't help but exclaim, not caring that it was already three o'clock in the morning, and that his shocked shriek echoed loudly in the empty stairway.

His brother stepped in and closed the door behind him. His eyes were cast downwards, like he was ashamed. Slowly, he lowered the hood.

"Can I stay the night here?" he asked softly, apologetically.

"Of course you can," Gaara replied, and his hand was already on his brother's shoulder, comforting him. He looked at his face, horrified by the blood and the broken skin. And was that a burn on his cheek?

Gaara bit his lip. There were so many things he wanted to say, like 'I'm going to kill him' or 'Please move in with me NOW'. He restrained his mouth, however, because he knew what the answer to those sentences would be. He knew that if he now said anything that would (rightfully) accuse Kiba and call out his wrongful doings, it would only get Kankuro defending him, no matter how crazy it sounded.

Instead of any of those things, he chose to say, "Sit down on the bed, I'll clean your face."

"Thanks," Kankuro replied quietly and did as he was told.

Soon enough, Gaara emerged from the tiny bathroom with cotton pads, water, a towel and some disinfectant. Ever so gently, he wiped his brother's face with lukewarm water. Judging by the frequent but restrained winces, it hurt a great deal. He tried to be even gentler, and thankfully his brother seemed to relax a bit more.

When the deed was done, he gave a comforting yet studying look at his brother. "Why?"

From the corner of his eye, Kankuro glanced at him, and then shook his head in disbelief. "I guess I went over the line."

"What do you mean by that?" Gaara asked, frowning.

"I'm not sure if I want to talk about it," Kankuro said in a tired voice. It had been his fault, hadn't it? If he had kept his over-eager hands away from Shino, none of this would've happened. What had he even been thinking? Friends didn't grope each other like that. He had been _so_ stupid.

Slowly, he unzipped his hoodie. He just wanted to sleep. When he heard his brother gasp, he looked at him in confusion. The redhead was looking at his T-shirt, at the red stains marring the front of it.

"Do you have anything I could sleep in?" he asked, as he discarded the hoodie.

"Uh, let's see," Gaara said, tearing his horrified gaze away.

He went through his closet, searching for something big enough for Kankuro to wear. The truth was, his brother was so bulky, unlike him, that he would have hard time fitting in his petite shirts. He was about to give up, when one item of clothing caught his attention.

A long-forgotten, baggy rock band T-shirt came to the rescue, and never would've he guessed he'd be so happy to see it ever again. An ex of his had given it to him, telling him he looked cute in oversized clothing. That once cherished memory was now nothing but a neutral fact to him, and so he draped the shirt to his brother, who gladly accepted it.

They lay down onto the bed, and Gaara pulled the cover over them. It would be dawn soon, but he doubted he could sleep with all this concern that had filled him. His brother lay on his back, and he understood that it had to be because of his sore face.

"Was it about Shino?" Gaara asked.

Kankuro spared him a quick glance, and then returned his attention to the ceiling. "Yeah, it was."

"Do you want to talk about it?" the redhead asked.

"I don't know," Kankuro pondered. "I think I had this coming."

"Why so?" Gaara inquired, frowning.

"Well, the thing is," Kankuro began. "Kiba saw me and Shino, and I guess it looked like we were _really_ close friends or something, the way I was clinging on to him."

"But that's a normal part of friendship," Gaara pointed out.

"Maybe, but . . . Maybe there was something more, I don't know, and Kiba saw it," Kankuro shrugged, oddly nervous.

"What do you mean, that you like Shino or something?" Gaara asked lightly, not letting his own uneasiness show.

". . . No," Kankuro said after some consideration.

Gaara's spirits lifted a bit upon hearing that. He let out a small breath of relief, even though he knew how ridiculous it was for him to have these one-sided feelings.

". . . Or maybe I do like him," Kankuro continued, unaware of the breath that stuck into his brother's throat. "But it doesn't matter. I love Kiba. And I would never cheat on him."

"I know," Gaara whispered, caressing his brother's shoulder, arm, and then hair.

"And he loves me too," Kankuro said, turning to look at this brother. "He has just had a lot of stress lately."

"Oh come on," Gaara sighed. "That is not an excuse to . . . to this!" he exclaimed, gesturing at his brother's face.

"I know," Kankuro said as if he understood and agreed. "But it's just a temporary phase."

"It's not," the redhead said flatly, his tone of voice tightening without him noticing it. "It will only get worse."

"No it won't," Kankuro almost laughed, waving his hand dismissively. "Because―"

"―this will be the last time," Gaara finished the sentence.

"Yeah," Kankuro said quietly, looking away.

"Tell me," the redhead began with a calm and serious voice. "If you love him, and he loves you, and this will be the last time, then why are you here?"

"What do you mean?" the brunette asked, gazing at the ceiling.

"Why aren't you home if everything's alright?" Gaara asked, his voice flat, but not because he was angry at his brother. No, his anger was reserved for a different brunette. "And I bet you walked here, too afraid to take his car, am I right?"

"So what?" Kankuro asked back, shrugging but refusing to meet his brother's stare.

"He's not the boyfriend you imagine he is," Gaara snapped, unable to keep his frustration under control. "He won't change, and yes maybe he does love you, but his way of dealing with his emotions is downright dangerous. This can't go on like this, anymore."

When the brunette didn't say anything, the redhead sighed, trying again.

"I know you know it. And believe me, if you let him go, you won't be alone. You have me," Gaara said, and with a slightly sadder tone continued, "And you have Shino, too."

"He doesn't like me," Kankuro suddenly said. "Not in that way."

"Oh," Gaara said, understanding the feeling all too well. "But you'll have him as a friend, right?"

"That's not the point," the big brother said, staring at the redhead. "I want to have someone . . . romantically. Not just on a friend level."

"I understand," the little brother nodded, hushing the undisclosed feelings inside his stomach. "But it's not a good reason to stay with Kiba."

"Maybe not," Kankuro agreed, then turned to lie on his side, facing his little brother. He leaned closer and placed a light, brotherly kiss on his forehead. "Thanks for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You can always count on me," Gaara whispered, his skin tingling. He inched closer, and to his surprise his brother hugged him, holding him close. Of course, it was only because the brunette wanted to have someone comforting him, but so what? If this was all he ever got, then be it.

 **/ / /  
**

In the morning, Gaara woke up to the lovely smell of freshly brewed coffee.

Lazily, he opened his eyes, and saw his brother on the kitchenette, humming silently as he made breakfast. Gaara's stomach rumbled loudly, and the brunette turned to look at him.

"Good morning," the big brother smiled, pouring coffee on a cup. Then he brought a small tray to bed for Gaara. Besides coffee, there were a couple of sandwiches, a banana and some yoghurt.

"Thank you, you wouldn't have had to," the little brother said in awe. There was so much food, he couldn't possibly have all of this . . .

"Eat up, you're so skinny it breaks my heart," Kankuro said good-heartedly, returning to the kitchenette.

In silence, Gaara beamed. His brother had noticed. Maybe just this one time he would let himself have the plentiful breakfast, and not feel sorry for letting himself eat enough.

"Do you have work today?" he asked, and saw his brother's shoulders tense for a moment.

"No, I called in sick," Kankuro explained, his shoulder slumping as he made more sandwiches. Then, he stopped.

"Maybe I should quit," he said.

"Your job?" Gaara asked, sipping coffee and frowning. "I thought you loved it."

"I do," Kankuro admitted, giving him a sad little smile. "But maybe . . . maybe it's better if I look for something else."

"You've looked for a job for over a year, Kankuro," Gaara pointed out, not believing his ears. "And now that you have one you're just going to give it up?"

"I know it sounds crazy," the brunette admitted. "But Kiba's making enough money for the both of us. It would be easier for us if I stayed at home, cooking and―"

"No," Gaara cut in, his determined jade eyes meeting the confused black ones.

"Can't you see he _wants_ you to stay at home, to be dependent on him?" he continued, his stern gaze melting into a gentle, worrisome look. "If you have no job, no money, no _life_ , then all there is to you is _him_ only, and that's what he wants to."

"That sounds a bit crazy to be honest," Kankuro shrugged, turning his back to him.

"Oh yeah, well that's how I see it," the redhead said, shrugging too. His brother could be really stubborn from time to time.

 **/ / /  
**

They spent the day together, and Gaara tried his best to take his brother's thoughts off from the depressing facts of their lives.

With the help from the upstairs lady, they had covered the terrible marks on Kankuro's face, so that he could go outside without drawing any unwanted attention. Gaara had dreaded to ask any kind of help from his neighbor, and judging by the lewd and unashamed glances she had shot at the both of them, it would not take long until she would 'mistake' his door for hers sometime soon again.

They were wandering outside, enjoying take-away coffee and mostly talking, carefully avoiding certain difficult topics.

Now they were sitting on a bench at a large park. The sun was shining and a lot of people were walking by, children screaming in the distance and birds screeching above the treetops. As they sat there in silence, it suddenly occurred to Gaara how noisy place the world really was.

They had this fun game they sometimes entertained themselves with, even in their childhood already: they would pick an unsuspecting passer-by and come up with a lifestory for him or her. It was fun and it was not too mean, at least not for the most of the time.

"That man, dressed in green, with bushy eyebrows," Gaara whispered, nodding into the distance.

Kankuro nodded in response, and his eyes narrowed in concentration. Then, in a quiet voice, he spoke, "He works in military. Not because of his own passion, but because his father taught him to love that world. And his father is a sergeant, but not the stereotypical kind."

At that, Gaara looked at his brother with slight amusement. Then, they directed their attention back to the green-clad young man.

"If he could choose," the brunette continued, "He would be a baker."

"A baker?" Gaara asked, a little smile ghosting on his lips.

"Yeah. He would make cookies that looked like young, athletic men. And puppies," Kankuro finished.

"What?" the redhead laughed, turning to see his brother's serious eyes.

"That's right. Because in army, it's a taboo to like those things. Even the puppies," the brunette explained solemnly, until a wide, mischievous grin spread to his face and he started laughing, too.

"You are one weird guy," Gaara laughed lightly, shaking his head. He was glad that this silly game seemed to get his brother's thoughts into happier spheres.

"That man, with blond hair and blue eyes," Kankuro said quietly, and subtly nodded towards the man standing nearby.

Gaara's eyes widened as he looked at the man. The blond man noticed him, his blue eyes meeting his, until Gaara suddenly moved his stare away. Then, with a quiet voice he said, "He's an archaeologist, who is only visiting this city. He lives far away, but his boss has forced him to take a long-postponed vacation, fearing that his diligent employee is in the brink of a burn out. And with his dull imagination, he chose this place, and he regrets it, now."

For some silent moments, Kankuro looked at his brother warily. "Whoa, that was a bit sad."

"Oh, sorry," Gaara apologized. Feeling the need to lighten up the mood, he continued, "But he likes the local food, and he wants to settle here, and―"

"Look, he's got a wife," Kankuro breathed. "And two kids."

The pink haired woman was beautiful. Gaara gulped, unable to look away. When one of the kids squealed loudly in excitement of seeing their dad, the redhead forced himself to look at them, and he shuddered.

"Are you cold?" Kankuro asked, tearing his eyes away from the stunning couple.

"Yeah, maybe we should go," Gaara replied, getting up.

 **/ / /  
**

In the hallway, Kankuro halted to the spot.

Kiba was standing there, shoulders slumped, eyes puffy and tired.

Before Kankuro could say anything, the younger man slouched to him, head down, eyes apologetic, with some sort of shame in his figure.

"Kiba―"

"I'm sorry babe," the younger man breathed, and entwined his arms around his boyfriend. The tightness of the contact revealed something about the desperation he was feeling inside.

"I will _never_ ―" Kiba began, until he broke down in sobbing, hugging his lover even tighter. When he felt Kankuro's hands gently caress his shoulder blades, he whispered with troubled desperation. " _Never_ again, I promise."

"Shhh . . . It's okay," Kankuro consoled his boyfriend, pulling him gently off him so that he could see his face.

"Look what I've done to you," Kiba cried, as he took in the state of the brunette's face. He lowered his head, as if unable to take in the evidence anymore.

"I know you didn't mean to," Kankuro whispered soothingly, gently caressing his cheek. Upon hearing the words, Kiba's head shot up.

"But I _did_ mean it, and it's horrible," Kiba told, his shoulders slumping even more, and the anguish in his features now even more prominent than before. "I meant it, and I hate myself for it."

"You had a stressful day," Kankuro said quietly, not sensing any hostility from his boyfriend. When the man was defeated and sad like this, he couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. "You just overreacted."

"Yeah I did," Kiba admitted, breaking into hysterical sobbing.

He buried his face in his hands, and Kankuro pulled him into a comforting hug.

"I was . . . I was just so worried, and _scared_ . . . " Kiba opened up, returning to that day in his mind. "When I saw y-you and . . . S-shino. I was afraid t-that . . . you were going to . . . l-leave me."

"There there," Kankuro whispered, soothing his back and gently patting his hair. "He means nothing to me. I have _you_ , that's all I care. And I'm never going to leave you."

"You aren't?" Kiba asked through the sobs. "P-promise?"

"I promise," Kankuro said with confidence, then pulled Kiba off to look at his tear-stained face once more. He smiled feebly at him, and placed one soft kiss on his forehead.

"What about your face?" Kiba asked, and more tears welled up in his eyes.

"It'll heal," Kankuro replied soothingly, caressing his boyfriend's cheek and looking at him gently.

"I swear . . . I'll _never_ ever―"

"Shh . . . I know, honey," Kankuro whispered, pulling his lover once more into a caring hug. It felt so wonderful to have another, breathing body pressed against him. He wanted nothing more than to be happy, to make his boyfriend happy, and he had the tiniest feeling that this time, they would succeed.

 **/ / /  
**

"Did you have a bad flu?"

"Uh . . . yeah, it always gets like that," Kankuro replied, glancing at Shino. With his fork, he moved the food around in his plate nervously.

He had been away for a week. With some help, he had forged a medical certificate that said he had been having a severe influenza. His boss had not noticed anything wrong with it, as he had handed it to him earlier this morning. With some make-up, he had been able to hide the still-remaining evidence of violence from his face.

"Would you like to have some coffee after work?" Shino asked in that calm, mysterious way of his.

"Nah, not today," Kankuro shrugged and looked apologetically at his friend. Then, he lowered his gaze down to his plate, again. "I've got to be home early, we have some plans."

"I understand," Shino replied, and got back to his lunch.

Kankuro flashed a friendly little smile at him. He had missed him, and he had missed work. The last week he had spent at home, each day waiting for his boyfriend to return from work. Needless to say, his days had been uneventful until that point. He hoped he didn't blush as he thought back at their time together.

For the first time, Kiba had let him top him in bed. Kankuro never minded about being on the bottom but reversing their roles had felt exciting and arousing. He had never topped anyone, before, as Kiba was his first partner ever. He knew that the brown haired man didn't quite like being the underdog, so that suggestion of his had been all the more endearing. His boyfriend really cared for him.

He glanced at Shino again, smiling faintly, and for the first time, he thought he saw the corners of his friend's lips tug upwards, ever so slightly.

Shino was a great guy. He really wanted to have coffee with him after work, but he had promised Kiba he'd come home as soon as possible.

 **/ / /  
**

"Your face looks better."

"Oh yeah, it does," Kankuro admitted, inspecting himself in the mirror in his little brother's apartment.

"So . . . " Gaara began, giving his brother a studying look. "How did you bring up you're going to leave him?"

"I . . . I didn't," Kankuro said sheepishly, turning away, making his way towards the bed. He didn't sit down, though.

"What? Why?" Gaara asked, stunned.

"I don't want to," the big brother explained, turning to look at him with a calm look.

"But he burned your face with a _freaking_ lighter!" the little brother shrieked, eyes wide and shocked.

"Yeah, I know," Kankuro said and shrugged, like that kind of treatment would be something completely ordinary.

"But he will do it again, and it will only get worse," Gaara pointed out, stepping closer to his delusional brother.

"No, I don't think so," Kankuro replied, shaking his head. "This time it will be different. We had a fresh start, you know."

"Kankuro . . . " Gaara sighed, closing the distance between them and taking his hands in his own. He stared into his brother's calm eyes, trying to communicate his reasoning in that way. Words seemed to be futile, and it frustrated him. His brother seemed happy, and from the bottom of his heart he wanted to believe that Kiba was a changed man. However, he was just sure that it wouldn't be the case this time, sadly enough.

His beautiful brother was looking down at him, for he was about a head taller than he was. Why couldn't the brunette come to his senses and leave the horrendous scumbag that he claimed loved him? He could have someone so much better than that low-life, he was sure of it. A tiny voice in his mind told him that the 'someone better' would never be Gaara, for it was clear that Kankuro had never had any incestuous thoughts . . .

Gaara sighed, and he wanted to get away from him. For the most of the time, this kind of closeness felt nice and natural for him but now, his heart was aching too much for this to be enjoyable. He stepped away, but his brother took hold of his arm, pulling him closer, again.

"Please . . . " Kankuro whispered, hugging him and looking down at him.

Gaara felt his feet getting weaker, and just this once, he let himself lean against his brother, who held him tightly.

"Don't worry for me, okay?" the brunette whispered, and Gaara had to look away, those gentle, soft eyes were too much, he couldn't . . . of all times, right now he shouldn't . . .

But Kankuro took hold of his chin and guided his lowered gaze to meet his black eyes, again.

"Everything will be alright," Kankuro said, and the redhead could not understand where the brunette could draw such confidence into those words that were an outright lie.

Why wouldn't his brother wake up? What more would have to happen until he finally came to his senses and saw the truth? Gaara felt so desperate, so useless, and he was genuinely worried that someday, his beloved big brother would be gone for good.

He couldn't let that happen! He wouldn't let that scumbag hurt his brother, anymore. He would have to intervene, before something irreversible would happen. Gulping down the sob that threatened to get away from him, he broke free from his brother's tight hug, and just as quickly he captured his face in his hands, and . . .

. . . kissed him.

He was kissing him. His brother!

"What the hell Gaara!?" Kankuro yelled and pushed the redhead away, taking a few steps back in evident horror.

The look on his face broke Gaara's heart, and he retreated as much as the tiny room allowed.

"The hell!?" Kankuro gasped again, staring at his little brother with anger and confusion.

"I'm sorry," the redhead whispered. He wanted to entwine his arms around himself, just for comfort, but he knew that no physical contact of his own would calm his aching heart right now. "I didn't mean to . . ."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kankuro asked, and now his voice had a shade of worry.

Standing in the far corner of the room, Gaara chose not to answer. He was shaking, breaking, and these feelings that had lived under his skin for so long were stabbing him like needles, like a thousand sharp stings, and he knew that ever expressing his abnormal desires would lead into a nightmare like this.

"Uncle Yashamaru really fucked you up, didn't he?" Kankuro said, with unintended accusation in his voice. When he saw the immediate hurt his words caused, he backed away, his expression softening, his voice just above a whisper. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to . . . "

Before he could finish his sentence, Gaara ran away, slamming the front door shut behind him.


	3. III

**/ / / HOPE / / /  
**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.

* * *

 **/ / /  
**

 **Chapter 3**

 **/ / /  
**

 _Fuck,_ Gaara thought as he ran down the street.

 _Fuck him,_ he cursed in his mind, never stopping his pace, he needed to get as far away as possible.

What did his brother know, anyway? It was always painful when their late uncle's name was brought up, and his brother should've known better than to bring it up in _that_ context.

Yeah, he knew he wasn't exactly normal. It didn't need to be rubbed in his face. Gaara swallowed a sob that threatened to get loose, and ran even faster. Only in the border of a forest he slowed down, sprinting into the woods, absentmindedly paying attention to the slippery ground. It had been raining again and maybe it still was, he couldn't be sure. Were his cheeks wet from the rain or because of his own tears?

"Ah―" he gasped as his foot got tripped on a big root crossing the muddy footpath.

He fell down face first into the wet soil. Out of breath, he sat up, looking around. There was no one in here, even the birds had quieted down for the night. Slowly, he crawled under the tree, leaning his back against its large trunk and remained sitting there. It definitely rained, for the constant drumming and murmur of water drops was echoing throughout the otherwise silent forest.

He hated his life.

He hated the sickness that lived inside of him, the perversion that refused to grow out of him.

The root of it was in his uncle, who had really 'fucked him up' as his brother had so graciously put it. In his tender pre-teen years, his twisted uncle had influenced him in ways that still affected him nowadays. His brother knew this, so why had he said something so inconsiderate?

Gaara sniffed quietly, pulling his knees closer to himself, hugging them. This was the only comfort he could get, now and ever, wasn't it?

Even if he tried, he couldn't deny his own twisted mindset that prevented him from fulfilling the expectations of their society. As a kid, he had always imagined that someday, he would have a beautiful wife, a fancy house and a couple of kids.

A wail tore out from his throat, and he let it, not stifling it down any longer.

Kids. He had wanted to have them, yet now he couldn't. Or rather he _shouldn't_ , and he pulled his knees even closer to himself, burying his head against them. It wasn't just the fact that he felt more drawn towards males nowadays. Deep down, he knew he swung both ways, but he had never really gotten the chance to develop that other side in him.

And after what had happened to him, he had sort of lost interest in the opposite sex. He wasn't sure how to be with a woman ― he thought he would be forced to take a more dominant role and he wasn't ready for that, not after what he had grown accustomed to.

And because of his cautiousness towards womankind, he would be bound to remain childless. The thought relieved him, but on the other hand it pained him. He liked kids. Yet he was afraid of them, afraid of their innocence, afraid ofhis own _lack of innocence_. How could he ever be a good parent, when he couldn't even keep his hands off from his own brother? How could he ever be sure that he wouldn't repeat the same mistakes that had come to ruin his life? What if―he choked back a cry―what if he were unable to restrain this sick preference he had, and would end up . . . ruining _their lives_ , too.

Gaara sobbed, feeling pitiful and small and hating it.

He remembered the blond man from the park again, and the thought did not lift his spirits.

His name was Naruto and he was not an archeologist. No, he was a construction worker he had met at a bar, and as far as he knew, it hadn't been his first time there.

Of course, it had been clear to him from the beginning that the blond man had been only seeking for a distraction. It was alright to Gaara, for he had been there for the same reason. Together, they had come to Gaara's tiny apartment, for the man had said his place was off-limits. And now Gaara understood why.

He wasn't sure if it was due to coldness and rain, or because of the distant memory, but he shivered, hugging himself tighter. The sex had been nothing sort of sweet or tender. Naruto had taken him from behind, pinning him down onto the mattress, his touches aggressive and greedy. In that position, the man had not been able to touch his member, but it had seemed that pleasuring his partner wasn't something the blond was really aiming at. Due to that selfish possessiveness, Gaara had come hard on the sheets, screaming out a forbidden name, not caring the slightest that his partner had done the same, too. What was the name again, he thought back, Sake or something? Was it Sasuke?

Shaking his head, Gaara decided to get up. Enough of this wallowing. It wouldn't do him any good to dwell in the past. It would only make his miserable mood even more distressing.

 **/ / /  
**

Kankuro gazed into the dark eyes of his boyfriend. He was a handsome man. He leaned closer to kiss him, and the brown haired boy responded instantly.

This felt right and moral. This felt _different_.

"What's on your mind?" Kiba asked, his soft gaze resting on him.

"It's nothing," Kankuro answered, stroking his lover's hair. Then, after some consideration, he said. "I'm just worried about my brother, that's all."

The look on Kiba's face somewhat hardened. "Oh yeah, why?"

"He seems troubled, I guess," Kankuro replied, trying to shake off the sadness but not succeeding.

"Tell me about it," Kiba laughed, but shut his mouth as his boyfriend looked at him with a hurt expression. "Come on, he's been like that for as long as I've known you guys."

"No, he hasn't," the brunette replied, shaking his head.

"He has," Kiba underlined. He didn't like the red haired guy, at all. The cold look in the jade eyes was unnerving, and each time they met it felt like the guy was onto something. The redhead's distrust towards him was clear, but that was not what unnerved Kiba. No, it was the disturbing way the redhead looked at Kankuro that made him so repulsed of him. "He's one rotten apple I tell you."

"What?" Kankuro breathed, taken aback. "How can you say so?"

"Come on," Kiba said, waving his hand dismissively. "Haven't you noticed how creepy he is around you?"

"He's not creepy," Kankuro defended, leaning away from his boyfriend. There was a hurt look in his eyes.

"Whatever," Kiba sighed, looking elsewhere. "But maybe you should spend less time with him."

"What do you mean?" Kankuro asked, surprised. "First Shino, and now Gaara, too?"

"Don't let me get started about the bug boy," Kiba replied, turning to look at his perplexed boyfriend. "What I mean is that those people may not be good for you. They're creepy and it's affecting you."

"They're not," the brunette huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest, moping.

"Aww come on, don't be mad at me," Kiba cooed, leaning in closer and kissing him. "I'm just worried about you."

"I know," Kankuro breathed, and the deep emotion in his boyfriend's eyes made a shiver run up and down his spine. They kissed again, and again, but Kankuro couldn't get the unnerving conversation out of his mind.

 **/ / /  
**

"Boy, I could kill for a cup of coffee," Naruto said, grinning, and got up from the bed. "I can make some for you, too."

"Thanks," Gaara replied, perplexed.

"Alright. I'll be right back," the blond said lightly, walking to the bathroom in all his naked glory.

To say Gaara was a bit shocked would be an understatement. The man had been actually rather nice to him. Never before had he seen him smile. Not to him, at least.

As if that alone hadn't been confusing enough, there was more. Naruto had called _him_. Long ago he had deemed their earlier encounter as just a one-night tryst, but it seemed he had been wrong. While this strange man was in the shower, Gaara had time to open the window and change the soiled sheets. An involuntary blush crept to his cheeks as he remembered how once again he had been lying on his stomach, Naruto pinning him down, his touches prominently lacking any trace of tenderness or care. And he had come hard and shaking on the sheets―again―throatily screaming his brother's name, not letting shame quiet him down. The shame would, as always, come later.

When some moments later Gaara emerged from the bathroom―it had been his turn to take a shower―a fresh scent of coffee wafted into his nose. In a stream of sunlight, Naruto sat on the bed, smiling as his blue eyes looked at him.

Gaara helped himself some coffee, then sat down next to the man. He couldn't help but wonder what had gotten the guy into such a carefree mood.

"My life is going to change," the blond said, sipping his coffee.

"For better, I take it?" the redhead asked, wondering how deep he should dig. They weren't exactly very familiar with each other.

"Hopefully," the blond replied, and flashed a sweet smile to him.

Gaara nodded in understanding. "What are you going to do, get to this . . . Sasuke, or something?"

"Can't," Naruto said, his smile never faltering. "He's dead."

"O-oh, I'm . . . I'm sorry," the redhead said quickly, looking away, and feeling like he had invaded too much of the man's privacy.

"What about you," the blond suddenly asked, his azure eyes searching him in an unnerving way. "What are you going to do about that Kankuro guy?"

Gaara blushed, averting his eyes. His own feverish screams echoed in his head, his son-of-a-bitch mind replaying them all over again to his great torment. "U-uh . . ."

"Who is he anyway," Naruto asked, unaware. "Your best friend's husband or something?"

"U-um . . . yeah something like that," the redhead replied, sipping his coffee.

The conversation died after that, to Gaara's relief. He was already feeling guilty enough without anyone else connecting the forbidden dots. He was really surprised that his secret companion had chosen to stay this long. He hadn't expected it but now that things were like this, he couldn't complain. He actually enjoyed this, even though he knew there was nothing more between them than physical attraction.

"Well, I better leave," Naruto said and stretched his arms lazily. An uttermost relaxation radiated from him, like he was at home and not on some stranger's bed. "Gotta get the kids from school."

"Yeah," the redhead nodded, and watched as Naruto left his cup onto the sink and began to put on his jacket and shoes.

Gaara just watched him, he didn't―couldn't―speak. What would he even say? Moments like these were better without awkward, out-of-place words. With one last grin to the redhead, Naruto left.

With a sigh, Gaara got up and put his mug onto the sink too, next to Naruto's. He wasn't sure what to think, or if he should think nothing at all. He plopped down onto the bed, on the fresh, crisp linen. At least one thing in his life was clean.

A knock on his door demanded attention. He groaned, wondering if Naruto had forgotten his car keys or wallet. Reluctantly, he slouched to the door.

It was his brother, giving him a sheepish look.

"I'm sorry about the last time," the brunette began. "I shouldn't have said what I said."

"It's okay," Gaara said. "Come on in."

"How have you been lately? I haven't heard from you for a long time," Kankuro asked with mild worry in his voice.

Gaara glanced at him, not feeling very social at the moment. "I've been alright." After a moment of silence, he looked at his brother with a sharp look. "Has _he_ been behaving?"

"He has," Kankuro said, smiling a little. As to prove it, he lifted his shirt upwards ― no bruises.

"That's good," Gaara said, relieved, and quickly turned away. He felt tired, both physically and mentally. He made his way to the bed and sat down onto it.

Kankuro remained standing near the kitchenette, unsure if he should sit next to his brother or not. To lighten up the mood, he finally spoke. "Guess what? I saw the architect on the stairway."

"What architect?" Gaara asked, having no clue whatsoever what his brother was meaning.

"You know," Kankuro said, shrugging. "That blond guy, from the park."

"Oh, _the archeologist_ ," the redhead understood, and averted his gaze.

"Yeah, that was it," the brunette said with a little smile. Just then the two mugs sitting on the sink happened to catch his attention. And there was still some hot coffee on the pot. "Mind if I have some?"

"Oh, be my guest," the redhead said.

After some inner hesitation, Kankuro sat down next to his brother, and held the hot cup in his hands. He glanced at the redhead, deep in thought. "Is the architect your friend?"

"Y-yeah he is," Gaara admitted, momentarily glancing at the door, where the blond had stood just moments ago.

"His wife was hot," Kankuro suddenly retorted, sipping his drink. "If I was straight I would ogle her all day."

The redhead chuckled, slightly amused by his brother's straightforwardness. "You are ogling her right now with your mind's eye."

"Heh, that's true," the brunette said and smiled. Even though he felt no deep desire towards the woman, he had to admit she was quite something.

After what felt like a long silence, Kankuro cleared his throat and warily turned to his brother. "About what happened the last time . . ." he trailed off. His face felt hot and he cursed if his cheeks were even slightly blushing.

"As I said, I'm sorry for bringing up certain things in a certain way," Kankuro continued, then after hesitation, added, "I know you must've been really stressed out or something, otherwise you wouldn't have . . . k-kissed me."

And now there was a brilliant red hue on the big brother's cheeks. He didn't meet the jade eyes but looked away, as if in shame.

Gaara looked at him, warily. He should've known this was coming. Kankuro was a healthy minded person. People like him could not grasp the reality that things like these _were not_ accidents, but products of a twisted psyche. The feelings that had driven him into giving that kiss were not a mistake, but a result of a permanent perversion plaguing his heart.

But of course, he understood, it must've been easier for his brother to imagine that it was all just a silly misunderstanding. That way, they could retain their formerly brotherhood like nothing had ever happened. Denial could have such a strong impact. He was sure that if Kankuro knew of his lewd, sick wants, he would never look at him again.

Gaara wondered what he should say. Did he want to go back to their earlier, normal brotherhood or should he take the other path, the path his heart screamed him to take?

"I'm sorry," Gaara began, meeting finally his brother's stare. "It was an accident, and I do have been really stressed, lately."

A knowing smile appeared on Kankuro's lips. Seemingly relieved, he patted his little brother on the shoulder.

 **/ / /  
**

Tonight, Kiba had an evening shift. Kankuro sighed, looking out of the kitchen window.

He was bored, and reluctantly he had once again declined Shino's offer of going to a café with him. Kiba had said it was already enough that they worked together. There was no need for them to meet outside that setting, he had been told.

It was about seven o'clock and four more hours until his boyfriend would be home. Lately, everything had been just wonderful between them. Kiba had been his calm, charming self, the one he had been in the beginning. Clearly the few violent outbursts had been just a temporary lapse, just like he had all along thought they would be. Gaara was wrong. Kiba was a changed man. And his little brother would never have to worry about it, again.

Since Shino was off-limits for the time being, and he wanted to have some socialization to his evening, he decided that a walk outside wouldn't hurt anybody.

Grabbing his keys from the hallway table, he left.

He had really no idea where he was heading at, and his aimless stroll didn't bother him. It was dark, and the city streets looked beautiful to him: neon signs glowing against the night sky, and people clad in black barely visible among the concrete buildings.

A cozy bar sign caught his attention. The place looked quite modest and not sleazy at all. He wasn't interested in anything sleazy. And besides, if he would be, Kiba would get angry at him.

With confidence, he stepped inside, taking in the civilized atmosphere. He ordered a beer, and sat down on the bar stool.

The place was quite deserted. He sighed, and took a sip of his drink. When he looked around again―a constant habit of his―he noticed a blond man sitting one stool away from him. Had he been there the whole time?

When he looked again, with mild curiosity, he recognized him as the architect. Or whatever the occupation was, he couldn't quite remember. The blue eyes turned to look at him, catching his stare.

Rather sheepishly, Kankuro looked away, but soon returned his attention to the man again. He was still looking at him, his blue eyes intrigued and sharp.

"Hi," Kankuro said, wondering if he should say something more.

The man nodded, and then turned his attention to the television near the ceiling.

"Aren't you a friend of Gaara's?" Kankuro asked nonchalantly, watching the television, too.

"Gaara?" the blond asked, raising his eyebrow and sipping his drink.

Kankuro spared a glance at him. "You know, red hair, green eyes. Quiet."

Naruto chuckled by himself. The description fit, except for the last part. As far as he knew, the guy was quite vocal. Shaking his head, he finally turned to the brunette.

"Oh yeah, he's my, uh, friend," the blond said. Then, the studying look came back to his face and for some silent moments, he evaluated the brunette.

"I think I've seen you somewhere," he concluded finally. "Weren't you in that park, with him?"

"Oh yeah, I was," Kankuro said, as if remembering it just now. "You have a nice family."

"Thanks," the blond said, still smiling even though his gaze had dropped and a sad aura radiated from him. He took a long sip of his drink. On the counter, there were a few empty glasses already in front of him. "We're getting divorced, though."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Kankuro said with empathy in his voice.

"It's alright." The man waved his hand dismissively. "Can't blame her. She has been very patient with me."

"What do you mean?" the brunette asked casually, looking at the TV once again, sipping his beer casually.

"Well you know . . . I haven't been exactly faithful to her," Naruto confessed, a sad little smile on his face. "And Gaara's just the tip of the iceberg, really."

Kankuro chocked on his beer, hoping the other man hadn't noticed his surprise. To be honest, he wasn't really fond of hearing about his brother's sex life. As far as he liked to imagine, the redhead hadn't one. It felt weird to think that his little brother was all grown up.

"Well, what are you going to do after the divorce?" Kankuro asked when he found his voice. He stared at the TV.

Naruto gave Kankuro a head to toe look, grinning as the brunette seemed to become slightly flustered by the attention he was giving him. It was obvious that this brown haired guy was on the same 'team' as him. There was no mistaking it. "I think I'm going to go back to my old ways, again."

"Uh-huh," the brunette nodded, not really understanding what the other meant.

Naruto took an earnest gulp of his clear drink. "I had this huge crush on this one guy, years ago, when I was still in college," the blond began, a bittersweet look on his face. "I loved him."

"What happened?" the brunette couldn't help but ask.

"He . . . he got into an accident, and he died," Naruto told, his eyes suddenly on the television, as he took another long gulp of his drink. For a moment, the man was silent, staring ahead like somebody was there. Then, his posture straightened suddenly and he seemed to gather himself. Loudly, he slammed his glass on the counter and turned to the brunette, smiling like no grief had just taken him over.

"And then," he continued with an oddly cheerful tone, "Then my prick of a father arranger a marriage for me, with _her_ , condemning my infatuation with Sa― with _him_ as just a temporary phase. He said the marriage would have a positive influence with the businesses he and _her father_ had."

"That's horrible," Kankuro said after a while, feeling sorry for the man. "You must hate him."

"Nah," Naruto said, signaling to the bartender and getting a new drink. "I'm too tired to hate my father. More than that, I miss . . . Sasuke."

The name fell from the blond's lips with difficulty, as if merely saying it had caused him pain. Kankuro was just about to console the crestfallen man when out of nowhere Naruto seemed to generate so much happiness that it didn't seem even real. With a small grin on his face, he winked at the brunette.

"Gaara reminds me of him, you know," Naruto said, imagining the red haired man in his mind. "His pale skin and brooding eyes are so alike."

"Hmm," the brunette only said, shrugging. "Maybe you two should go out or something?" he suggested after a while.

Naruto gave him a kind smile, and then shook his head in silent disbelief. "No, I don't think it would work out."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the brunette said apologetically, glancing at the TV then back at the blond.

"You know, maybe I've had one too many of these," Naruto said, lifting up his once again empty gin and tonic glass. "But that Kankuro guy is one lucky fellow in my opinion."

"What do you mean by that?" Kankuro asked with a slightly cautious voice, wondering what he had to do with anything.

In the background, Naruto's glass was re-filled. He took a nice gulp of it straight away.

"That guy is all he ever talks about, you know," Naruto leaned in closer, his alcohol-infused breath hitting Kankuro on the face. "Or he doesn't really talk, he screams . . . and moans."

Kankuro dropped from the stool, haphazardly seeking support from the counter.

"Heh, you don't hold your liquor too well," Naruto chuckled, holding the brunette by the arm, unaware of the inner turmoil his drunken words had caused in him.

"Y-yeah . . ." Kankuro chuckled nervously, wiping cold sweat from his forehead. He felt nauseated, sick, and he needed to get out. He was already making his way out, when the blond called after him.

"Hey, it was nice talking to you, buddy. What was your name again?"

"Ka― Kiba," Kankuro said, smiling uneasily, and then he ran out.

 **/ / /  
**

He kept on walking aimlessly, emotions swirling inside his head that now felt like a giant beehive.

The buzzing of his own thoughts was numbing him, and he hoped it would make this sick shock in the pit of his stomach go away. He wanted to throw up his feelings.

Of course, he knew this wasn't a particularly good idea.

He always had a hunch when he was about to make a bad decision and now his inner alarm system rang loudly like hell's bells. It didn't stop him, though. He wished it would.

The door stood there in front of him, silent and foreboding. This would be the entrance to his own tomb. He had texted Kiba that he wouldn't be home due to a family emergency. As the door slowly cracked open, he couldn't hold it in any longer.

Uncontrolled tears streamed down his face as he looked at his little brother, and the shock on the pale face registered to him. He couldn't find the words, so he just stepped in and walked past his brother and lay down onto the bed.

"Kankuro, what's wrong?"

He could hear the redhead's voice but it sounded so distant, like he was a light-year away. He covered his sobby eyes with his arm, breathing heavily because of his clogged nose.

The mattress sank next to him, and he didn't need to look to know that Gaara had now settled down beside him.

"Kankuro, what has happened?"

There was worry in that voice, and Kankuro let out a sad sob. He didn't want to burden his little brother any more than necessary. As it seemed, the redhead had way too many problems of his own, and he didn't need the extra load of Kankuro's troubled life.

He gasped as his shirt was lifted gently upwards. Of course he knew his brother was only checking him for fresh bruises but he still couldn't prevent the sharp breath that escaped his lips, when Gaara touched him, ever so slightly feeling the skin on his torso.

"You seem to be alright in here . . . Kankuro?" The frown in his voice was clearly audible.

His shirt was put back in place, and the breathtaking touch was now nowhere near him. Eyes still covered with his arm, he couldn't control the erratic breaths that pushed out of his lungs.

"Oh my god . . . " and now there was alarm in his voice waiting to explode. "Don't tell me he―!"

". . . No," Kankuro managed to whisper, refusing to reveal his puffy eyes. It was better to hide them.

"Then . . . why are you like this?" Gaara asked him, his voice soft and caring, and he could easily imagine the confusion that surely was visible in the jade depths.

"I'm so sorry . . . "Kankuro breathed, finally taking his arm off from his eyes and looking at the perplexed redhead. With irregular sobs, he pulled his little brother into a hug, the same kind they had shared many of in their early childhood. "I'm so sorry . . . for you."

"You're not making any sense," the little brother said, his voice muffled as he tried to adjust himself into the unexpected hug. "You're scaring me, Kankuro."

The brunette let out a sad wail. His lovely little brother . . . so broken and perhaps beyond repair. How could he ever look at him again without worry, knowing that their lousy uncle's doings were even nowadays plaguing his precious brother's mind?

If he could, he would change the past and always keep his lovely little brother out of harm's way. He loved him, he really did, and it broke his big heart that Gaara was in pain, that Gaara was sick. If only he could find a remedy for that unhealthy illness that had manifested itself in the form of an awkward kiss . . .

"Kankuro . . . " And now the voice was soft, almost like a whisper, and he loosened his tight hug a bit.

"Calm down," it continued.

And Kankuro let out a long exhale, his heart rate dropping down a fraction. He wasn't so tense anymore, and for a moment he closed his eyes again.

Gaara adjusted himself an inch further away, so that he could look at his brother's face. The eyes opened, and they were looking at him.

"Are you feeling better?" the redhead asked, his confusion melting into care, and lightly, he rubbed his brother's shoulder.

Kankuro nodded, then swallowed a lump in his throat. "I have money, you know."

Gaara raised a non-existent eyebrow. What was this again?

"I could help you, if it's about money," the brunette continued, looking calmly at him.

"What are you talking about?" the redhead asked, once again getting confused.

"You need money . . . to get the proper treatment. It's expensive," Kankuro slowly explained, gently caressing his brother's arm.

"What treatment?" Gaara asked, eyeing his brother like he was in some kind of psychosis. The brunette wasn't making any sense.

"To get your head fixed," Kankuro said, closing his eyes again, as if speaking had worn him out already.

"My head's okay," Gaara replied warily. Was this about that 'accidental' kiss again?

"It's not, and you know it," the brunette argued back, opening his eyes. "I saw the blond man at a bar, and he told me."

"WHAT?" Gaara's voice was suddenly very loud, as he stared at his brother with impossibly wide eyes. What the _fuck_ had _Naruto_ been telling him, and _WHY_?

"Calm down," Kankuro said quietly, like he was tired. "He didn't mean to, but he was drunk. And he had no idea."

"What . . . did he actually . . .?" Gaara asked after he could trust his voice again. He swallowed hard, trying to keep breathing.

"You need help," Kankuro said, and let out a sob, tears in his eyes again. "I love you, and I'll help you."

"Sure," Gaara whispered, and let his brother pull him into a crushing hug once again. There was no way he would go to a shrink again. His mental wounds were still there, even though scabbed, and he would not re-open them anymore. And his sweet, lovely brother, his simple-minded brother would never understand that _this_ was something a shrink could never cure.

"You're going to be alright," Kankuro whispered into his ear, his wet cheek pressed against Gaara's.

"I know," the redhead replied, knowing that his conformity would calm down his shocked brother.

 **/ / /  
**

In the morning, a bright stream of sunlight flooded into the room.

Lazily, Kankuro blinked his eyes, not yet ready to fully open them. He sighed and listened to the silence. Only a calm rhythm of breathing broke it every now and then. Oh yes, he could remember now.

His little brother was in his arms, back turned to him, still tightly asleep. Sunlight reflected from those red locks beautifully, making them glow. Under the blanket, it was warm and cozy, and Kankuro recognized a familiar tingle of restlessness in himself. It took him a moment to realize he had his morning hard-on . . . pressed snugly against his little brother's behind!

Hastily, he moved further away, careful at not waking up the clueless redhead. His morning erections were nothing unusual, they would come and go, but now was not the time or place for them to present themselves. Quickly, he recalled the earlier, disturbing conversation with the blond man. Yesterday, he had been beyond repulsed by it, so it should do the trick.

It seemed that now though, it had no effect whatsoever. Calmly, Kankuro sat up and spared a few thoughts to their uncle, and the familiar disgust and anger was instantly back in him. Easily, he strode towards the coffeemaker and began to make breakfast for them.

 **/ / /  
**

"You've been spending quite much time with your brother lately," Kiba pointed out, giving a sideways glance at his boyfriend.

"Yeah, I know," Kankuro admitted with an apologetic voice. "But he needs me now."

Kiba nodded, resuming to eating dinner. The food was delicious as always. "What was wrong with him, again?"

"He's got a messy break-up, and he needs my support," the brunette said, looking at his boyfriend with seriousness.

"Who is it?" Kiba asked.

"Who?" Kankuro asked, raising his eyebrow.

"The person," Kiba explained, and then added with a huff. "The person who he's breaking up with."

"O-Oh," Kankuro stuttered, looking out of the window. "Her name is Hinata."

"Never heard of her," Kiba shrugged, forking the last of the meal into his mouth. "Thanks for the dinner, babe. You overdid yourself this time." He gave a wolfish wink and a smile that bared his fangs. The older brunette blushed at that and looked down at his lap.

"Hey, eh . . . " Kiba began. "If you want some action tonight, it would be great."

"S-Sure," Kankuro replied, meeting the hungry eyes that were certainly undressing him at the moment. The attention made his skin feel hot. "If you want . . . I can top you," he then added, quietly.

"Nah, not in the mood for that," Kiba told honestly, the lecherousness slightly vanishing from his eyes. "I don't think we'll be doing it again, to be honest."

"I understand," Kankuro nodded and looked down at his plate. He had never really said it aloud, but he liked being on top. Maybe he liked it even more than being on the bottom. With a blank face, he stood up and began collecting the plates.

 **/ / /  
**

It was windy, and the strong gusts were lifting up leaves and miscellaneous garbage from the ground up into the air. It kind of looked like a flock of birds was taking wing, only to dive back down right after.

"That gorgeous blonde woman over there, with pale green eyes and high ponytail."

Gaara followed his brother's stare and took in the thin, purple-clad woman standing on the street. Clearly she was waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green.

"She . . ." Gaara began, a slight smirk coming to his face. "She has a secret. She is constantly looking behind her shoulder, as you can see, to make sure no one follows her. She even left her car a few blocks away just in case."

"Hmm," his brother said, waiting for more.

"She said to her mom, whom she lives with, that she's going to the movies. But in reality, she's going to that little hat shop behind the corner."

"Why there?" Kankuro mumbled, frowning.

"Because she dreams of buying a kick-ass baseball cap she's seen on the shop window."

"Sounds stupid," Kankuro laughed, giving a look at his brother.

"Her mom says it's too manly, so she can't have it," Gaara said, closing the imaginary description.

Kankuro just shook his head and patted his brother on the shoulder. They were in the park again, and they had entertained themselves with the bypassers for some time already. A lonely bench under a big, shady tree offered a good hiding spot for them.

"Can you tell me something?" Kankuro asked after some time, and glanced at his brother.

"Sure," Gaara shrugged, eyeing the people walking by in the distance.

"Why me?"

The emotionless jade eyes turned to meet the curious black ones. Breath stuck in Gaara's throat, and he had to look away. Even then, he could feel on his skin that the attention of his brother was still on him.

"You can't decide who you like, and who you don't," was all he said after some time.

"But surely there must be some things that draw you towards a person, right?" Kankuro asked quietly, looking in the distance to hide the curiosity that surely radiated from him. He was asking this just to be able to help his brother better. Maybe if he knew what caused those sick feelings in his brother, he could somehow alter himself to be the exact opposite.

Gaara stared at the grass, at the colorful leaves dancing in the wind.

He didn't know how to answer to that question. What could he say? That he liked his brother's strong, broad shoulders? Or the way he smiled, or the soft look in his eyes whenever he looked at him? Should he say that he adored the well-toned muscles all over his body, and the promising trail of hair that began from his navel and disappeared into his boxers?

"You care about your loved-ones in a way that is both endearing and altruistic," Gaara finally replied. "And you have a strong sense of justice, even though you too often take blame of things that are not your fault."

"Oh," Kankuro whispered, noticing the dancing leaves and staring at them, too.

 **/ / /  
**

"What do you mean you have to go there, again?" Kiba asked, eyeing his boyfriend suspiciously in the hallway. "How messy is that break-up really?"

It had been almost a month of this, and he was disappointed to see his lovely boyfriend leave the house night after night to see his brother.

"I'm sorry, but he needs me. That Neji is a real asshole," Kankuro said and shrugged apologetically.

"Neji?" Kiba asked, narrowing his eyes. "Isn't that a guy's name? Last time you said it was someone called Hinata?"

"Y-Yeah, that's right," Kankuro said, hating his own stuttering. He gulped, trying to collect his confused thoughts. "His . . . _her_ name is Hinata Neji. As she's a complete asshole."

"What a weird name," Kiba pondered aloud, and his eyes narrowed as he eyed his quiet lover. He didn't enjoy the idea of Kankuro spending so much time with his freak of a brother. There was something unnerving in that guy, and he didn't like his wandering, creepy eyes at all. The thought that they were relatives calmed him down somewhat, for he knew that nothing suspicious would ever happen between the two.

 **/ / /  
**

" _Ah . . . Kankuro . . . " he gasped, his voice muffled by the sheets._

" _G-Gaara," his brother whispered into his ear, and a hot shiver ran down his spine as the warm breath hit his skin._

 _He was pinned down on the mattress, face down. Kankuro was on top of him, pushing deeper, and when he hit his prostate for the first time, a needy moan tore out from Gaara's throat. Kankuro's hardened member slid in and out of his stretched entrance with ease, and his hot breath hit his ear._

 _He couldn't move, he never could, but familiar pleasure was once again gathering in his groin, and the hard, thick shaft moving in and out made his breath hitch each time it slammed into him in all its lengthy glory._

" _I―I'm . . . going to―!" it was his brother's voice, full of unraveling passion, and his needy moans were the trick that undid him each and every time._

" _K-Kan―kur-o!" he screamed, as his brother's moans grew louder and more incoherent, as their pace quickened, as his brother's hard member hit his prostate one more blissful time and he_ ―

Quietly, Gaara opened his eyes to a darkened room. He was sweaty and his heart was beating loudly, but he didn't dare to make any movement. Everything was silent.

Slowly he turned his head to his brother, who seemed to be blissfully sleeping right next to him. He needed to get out of here. With stealthy movements he climbed off the bed, only stopping when his brother suddenly showed a sign of waking up. But it seemed to be a false alarm, as right after the brunette began to snore loudly.

A cold shower and clean, unsweaty clothes made him feel better. He had had that reoccurring dream for a long time already, and it was always the same. And now that his brother had spent so much time around here, it was only a matter of time when the dream would cruelly come to bother their civilized interaction.

And why was Kankuro spending so much time here lately? He understood that the brunette's worry about his mental health was strong, but he had thought that his uncloseted, twisted secret would've caused the opposite reaction. He had thought that his brother would've said goodbye to him, forever.

It hadn't happened, though.

 **/ / /  
**

Boredly, he glanced at the clock.

It was 3 a.m.

With a sigh, he let his gaze roam around the deserted grocery store. The hours before dawn were always the quietest. Not that he complained, for night hours were paid better than the hours during daylight.

Finally, he had been able to save enough money to be able to leave his ridiculously small apartment. He had been apartment hunting, but so far nothing had met his standards. Earlier this week, his boss, Mr. Iruka Umino, had come to him, kind as always and looking carefree as ever, but by now Gaara had learned that it was just the man's way of creating false sense of security. Mr. Umino had given him a concerned head to toe look, his wary gaze stopping at the darker than ever rings around his insomniac eyes. After some muttered words of being _concerned_ about his employee's wellbeing, he had cut back his hours by half.

It had shocked him but in a way, he felt thankful. He really needed the rest.

On the other hand, work had always been a way of escapism for him, and now with oddly more free time, he wasn't sure how to distract his recurring thoughts.

 **/ / /  
**

"Shit," Kankuro breathed, wincing, as he realized he had to go the toilet.

With calculated, controlled movements he managed to get up from the bed. Thankfully, the walk to the bathroom wasn't as challenging as he had feared it would be. After relieving himself, he scuffed back to the bed, gently lowering himself on his back.

He had yet to call to work and come up with a proper excuse.

Or maybe he would quit, just like Kiba had wanted him to.

He was just about to make the call, when his phone suddenly rang.

"Hi Gaara," he answered. "Why are you calling me this time? I was just about to leave to work."

"Oh, sorry. I'm just coming from a night shift and wanted to ask how you're doing. Since my boss decided to reduce my hours, I have the rest of the week off," the redhead on the other end of the line said.

"I'm shocked. _You_ are having days off?" Kankuro laughed but quickly stopped as his ribs hurt.

"Hey are you alright?" Gaara asked casually, his voice sounding quite carefree.

"Never better. I just have a sore throat, maybe the flu's coming or something," Kankuro chuckled, refusing to let his injuries prevent him from expressing himself.

"Okay. Do you want to hang out today?" the little brother asked.

"Sorry, I can't. I'm busy for the next week or so, and I guess you won't see much of me until then," Kankuro said apologetically.

"That's alright, don't worry. See you later," Gaara said after hanging up.

Kankuro sighed, closing his eyes momentarily. What would he say to his boss that would make his absence acceptable? He had had the influenza last time, so what disease should he pick now?

The line beeped for a long time before his boss picked up. "Good morning, Kankuro," the voice on the other end of the line greeted.

"Good morning, Mr. Hatake," Kankuro said, trying to sound ill. "I'm afraid I've caught stomach flu, so I won't be able to come to work. I'm sorry."

"Calm down," the boss replied lazily. "That sounds something contagious, so you better heal yourself up until you come back."

"Thank you, sir. I went to the doctor and I was ordered a week-long sick leave. As you, too, pointed out, they said it was contagious."

"It's okay, take your time. You sound horrible, by the way," the boss said with a monotonous voice.

"T-Thank you and sorry Mr. Hatake," Kankuro replied modestly.

"Relax, and haven't I told you that you can call me just Kakashi?" the boss pointed out, stifling an amused chuckle.

"Y-yes, thanks, Mr. . . . Kakashi," the brunette replied and smacked himself on the head because of his lame choice of words.

"Alright. Take care," the man said before hanging up.

With shaking hands, Kankuro rubbed his face. He had calculated that a week would be long enough to recover somewhat decently from his broken ribs. He had concluded that he had most likely two of them broken, hopefully not more than that.

Normally, this would be something he would go checked up for, but now hospital was out of question. The pain was horrible and almost knocked him out from time to time, but he would manage alright if he just stayed home. It would probably take up a month until he would be back to normal, but after a week, the pain would hopefully be on a level that wouldn't prevent him from going to work.

Forcing himself up again, he walked slowly to the computer and began to work on a forged medical certificate, again.

 **/ / /  
**

"Honey, I'm home."

"In here," Kankuro called gently, waving his hand at his boyfriend from the bed. A delicious scent of Chinese food wafted into his nose and he looked up to see Kiba standing on the doorway, holding several boxes of take-away food.

"I figured you'd be hungry," the younger man said, smiling.

"Y-Yeah," Kankuro said weakly, happy that he wasn't expected to cook, at least not today.

With Kiba's help, Kankuro was now leaning against a pile of pillows in a half sitting position. The food was put on a tray, and Kiba was sitting next to him on the bed, holding chopsticks in the air.

"Open your mouth, babe," Kiba whispered, and Kankuro noticed the suggestive glint in his boyfriend's eyes.

In a gentle and caring way, Kiba fed him, and when he was thirsty, he gave a can of soda to him.

"You're spoiling me rotten," Kankuro gushed, feeling his cheeks heat up. He had missed take-away meals so much, and it surprised him that his boyfriend had actually remembered his favorite foods.

"I know, but you deserve it," Kiba said, gently stroking his lover's hair. Kankuro leaned into that loving touch, closing his eyes. If only could every moment be as serene as this. He didn't miss yesterday, at all.

"Has your brother called you?" Kiba suddenly asked and his expression somewhat hardened. Automatically, his fingers tightened their hold on the brown hair, and the older man flinched.

"Y-Yeah he did call me," Kankuro mastered his best nonchalant voice. "I told him I can't see him for the next week or two."

"Good," Kiba relaxed and kissed his forehead gently.

 **/ / /  
**

After three days, Kankuro thought he was going nuts.

The pain had somewhat subsided, but in spite of the painkillers he couldn't really do much around the house. He was sick of staring at the ceiling. Kiba was working long hours, for the branch office they were opening next week demanded a lot of his energy and time.

And Shino . . . he missed him. He had wanted to call him, to invite him here whenever he knew Kiba was working in the evenings, but he couldn't. First of all, he was supposed to have stomach flu. He couldn't reveal to his friend that he was fooling their boss. And secondly, Shino wasn't supposed to know how things were between him and Kiba. It would only make him worried.

Gaara on the other hand thought that everything was fine and that he was working like always. But he had promised, sort of, to stop seeing his brother for a short while. It pained him, maybe even more than his broken ribs did, but the anger and jealousy of his boyfriend made him always obedient.

Of course Kiba hadn't meant to hurt him. He was just stressed out with the branch office opening and with his father breathing on his neck in every damn turn.

And if he hadn't been spending so much time with his brother lately, he would've noticed his boyfriend's stress. And maybe then, he could've helped him unwind in some way, so that his feelings wouldn't have had to explode like they did.

So, in a way, he had been really asking for this. It was good that his beloved boyfriend had reminded him of where his priorities should lie.

He would spend more time with Kiba, from now on. All he had to do was wait for him to come home from his ten or twelve hour shifts. Then, they would have an hour or two together, before his brave boyfriend would collapse onto bed, asleep. Kiba did so much for them. It wasn't too much asked for him to give a few hours of his day in return.

He must've fallen asleep, for the loud buzz of the doorbell woke him up.

Groggily, he tried to get up from the bed, but the pain shooting through his chest quickly reminded him of the realities of his current condition.

"I'm coming, just wait a sec!" he shouted, and then made his way slowly towards the door.

To his surprise, it was his brother.

"Uh, hi," he greeted, letting him in.

"Are you alone?" Gaara asked with a low whisper, cautiously glancing around.

"Yeah," Kankuro said, trying to stand in a naturally relaxed position, no matter how impossible it felt like. "So, what brings you here at this time of the day?"

"Well, I wanted to surprise you, since I haven't seen you in a few days, and because I have a week off anyway," Gaara said, taking in his brother's unkempt appearance. "So I went to the museum but they told me you were sick. And that brings me here," he said, "with these." He then lifted the two boxes of Japanese take-away food in his hands.

"So what's wrong with you, this time?" Gaara asked, making his way to the kitchen.

Kankuro followed, albeit slowly. "I've got stomach flu."

"I didn't ask what you told your boss. I asked what's wrong with you," the redhead said with a steady voice, looking at his brother in a very thorough way.

The brunette shivered, feeling like the redhead could see straight into his soul.

"What did he do this time?"

"Uh . . . he's been stressed out lately, and I haven't really been there for him, so―"

"Kankuro," Gaara interrupted, coming closer to his brother. He looked at him softly. "Please don't blame yourself."

"I know, but―" the brunette began, but when he saw his brother's stern expression, he cut himself off.

Gaara stepped closer, putting his hands on his brother's shoulders. Then, he lowered them in order to pull his brother into a hug, but Kankuro suddenly tensed, at it didn't go unnoticed by him. "You're hurt."

"It's nothing," Kankuro tried to smile it off. "Just a few ribs―"

"What!?" Gaara exclaimed with a horrified look on his face. "That's serious. You need a doctor."

"No doctor," Kankuro whispered and visibly paled. "Please. I'll be alright."

Gaara huffed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. "This can't go on like this, and you know it."

"I know," Kankuro replied gently, and the jade eyes looked momentarily surprised. "And it will stop. The branch office will be opened next week and―"

"Stop," Gaara said, taking hold of his brother's hands and squeezing them. "Stop making excuses for him."

Kankuro sighed, not sure what to say. He loved Kiba, but there had been quite many of these little mishaps lately. Kiba hadn't been like that in the beginning. He wasn't sure why his boyfriend had changed but he wanted to believe that it would be just a temporary phase.

"I'm taking you with me," Gaara said after a while, his tone of voice serious and determined.

"I'm not going," Kankuro argued, frowning. It seemed like a ridiculously drastic solution to this situation.

"Oh, you are coming with me," Gaara replied, giving him the don't-start-with-me look. "I'll pack your bag for you, tell me what you need."

"Aren't you a bit over-exaggerating?" Kankuro asked weakly. With uneasiness he watched as his brother was already searching for a bag of some kind. However, his words stopped the redhead's movements.

"I am not going to just watch this, anymore. I am not letting my only brother . . . get hurt," Gaara explained. He had meant to say 'die', but had decided against it. He couldn't think of it now, it would only make him sad and desperate, and right now he needed to remain functional.

To that, Kankuro found no words. He looked at his brother with a crestfallen look, and then lowered his head in silent consent.

 **/ / /  
**

"Whoa those pills are effective," Kankuro gasped as the drug began to kick in. He couldn't feel his broken ribs anymore.

"Yeah, thank the old lady upstairs," Gaara said and in his mind he bowed down to Tsunade, to his lewd neighbor, who had the annoying audacity to eat him up with her eyes each time she saw him. But this time, it was a small price to pay to get something strong enough for his broken brother.

"Now try to catch some sleep, if you can. I'll be up so if you need anything, I'll be right here," Gaara said reassuringly and smiled a little.

"Thank you," the brunette murmured, trying to respond with a smile too, but his face felt suddenly lazy, his eyelids heavy, and he couldn't help but fall asleep.

 **/ / /  
**

"Mmhh . . . Kiba," Kankuro cooed, pulling the petite figure closer to his chest. With his eyes closed, he kissed his boyfriend on the forehead.

"Uh . . . wake up," the warm figure said, shaking him gently. He didn't mind, Kiba was always reluctant like that in the morning. But he loved to tease him, so he kissed his neck, wondering briefly how soft his skin was. He smelled nice too, was that new soap or something?

Kiba seemed to give in a little, so he placed a few kisses along his jawline, but right then his boyfriend tensed up again and started shaking him by the shoulders.

"Kankuro, wake up!"

"Just five more minutes," he mumbled, resting his head on the crook of his boyfriend's neck, inhaling the sweet scent. He liked that new soap, it made his skin soft, too. Without another thought, he fell asleep again.

It was the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee that finally broke him free of his much needed sleep. Groggily, he opened his eyes, and closed them right after as bright sunlight blinded him.

"Morning," his brother said from the kitchenette, and soon after a little breakfast tray was brought to him.

He could swear he saw a little pink hue on his brother's cheeks and wondered what it was. Right then his stomach grumbled loudly and he directed his attention to the sandwiches and fruits.

"Thanks," he smiled and hummed happily as he ate.

The funny thing was, he couldn't quite remember why he was here. Shouldn't he be at work? Or was it weekend already? He glanced around, looking for a clock, when his attention was caught by a concerned look on Gaara's face.

"What?" he asked.

"Well," his brother began. "Last night, Kiba called your phone, and I picked it up. He asked where you were, and I explained to him that you will be staying here for some days."

"What?" Kankuro asked again, dumbfounded, until yesterday slowly began flooding into his mind. "Oh no . . . " he whispered, a scared look on his face.

"He was angry, wasn't he?" Kankuro asked, his shoulders slumping and cautiousness taking over his whole demeanor.

"He was, but I gave him a piece of my mind," Gaara replied. There had been a lot of cursing and shouting between them, and thankfully Kankuro hadn't woken up because of it. "I told him that if he ever tries to hurt you again, I'll call the police."

"Oh shit," Kankuro sighed, suddenly losing his appetite. His ribs hurt again, probably the strong painkiller was wearing off by now.

"Don't worry, I'll be there for you," Gaara reassured. "I won't leave you alone."

"Thanks," the brunette whispered weakly. "I'm sorry you got into the middle of this."

"It doesn't matter. I'm going to help you through this, no matter what," Gaara replied, and smiled ever so slightly at him.

When the redhead came over to collect the tray, a scent of some exotic flower wafted into Kankuro's nose. His mind froze for a second, trying to connect it to a memory. He couldn't figure it out, though, but his heart rate sped up and he wondered why that was.

 **/ / /  
**

Maybe it was the brightness of the rising sun behind his eyelids.

Maybe it was the arm resting around his waist.

Gaara opened his eyes and welcomed yet another lazy morning. His brother was asleep behind his back, judging by his deep breaths. A cup of coffee would be superb, and so he gently took hold of the arm in order to move it away.

The arm had other thoughts, however, and it pulled Gaara even closer against that warm chest.

"Come on," Gaara whispered, prying himself free from the touch. His cheeks felt hot already, damned if he blushed!

The arm kept him still, preventing him from leaving, and right then his brother's warm, sleepy breath hit his ear.

"Kankuro . . . " he said in hopes of waking him up.

No signs of waking up were in the air, instead the brunette pushed his groin against his bottom. Gaara blushed brilliant red when he felt his brother's hard-on pressing against him, and now more feverishly than ever, he tried to break free from the awkward hug.

He knew he shouldn't think of anything about this. Morning hard-ons were a natural, innocent thing that happened from time to time. It hadn't any deeper meaning behind it, really. Besides, when it came to his brother's unconscious antics, he was certain that once again, he was mistaking him for his good-for-nothing boyfriend. What his brother was dreaming of at the moment had to be Kiba.

"G-Gaa . . rah." A groggy murmur hit his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

For real! Those pills the old lady had given them were quite scary! Sure they kept the pain away but the heavy sleepiness and mind haze they caused weren't desired effects. Again, Gaara grabbed the arm, more forcefully this time. He had to get out.

"Mmh . . . G-Gaara?" and now the brunette's voice sounded almost alert.

Quickly, the redhead closed his eyes and tried to be as relaxed as possible.

"Are you awake?" the warm breath hit his ear again.

Gaara repressed a shudder, knowing that his brother was unaware of the sensations he was causing in him. Rather than to let the brunette know that he had witnessed his unconscious groping, he thought it was better to fake being asleep. It would save them both from needless embarrassment.

He waited for his big brother to realize the situation, the position they were in, and move away in much expected shame. To realize that Kankuro was not inching away, but . . . smelling his hair, was truly shocking to him. The brunette's hand, that was resting against his chest, keeping him in place, caressed him lightly.

To say he thought he was going to burst was an understatement.

He wanted to scream ― whether it was from shock or from joy he couldn't yet comprehend. Probably from the shock, for just over a few months ago his brother had so sternly called him _sick_ and vowed to get his head fixed.

And now look where they were. If anything, this would no doubt get his head even in more confused state, if possible.

He wished that Kankuro couldn't feel his heart beating crazily in his chest, for that if anything would blow his cover. He was supposed to be asleep. And his brother was supposed to jump away from him at any moment.

That hand in question traced down his body, gently caressing him and the touch reminded him of something brotherly. It took in the texture of his skin on his arm, gently stopping at his biceps. The earlier, unnerving hard-on, that had so blatantly been pressed against his behind, had mostly subsided by now, but still a distinct poke was clearly substantial down there.

It bothered him that it didn't seem to bother the brunette, at all.

Only after some tormenting minutes, Kankuro climbed off the bed and tiptoed into the bathroom.

When Gaara heard the door's soft click, indicating it was locked, he let out a shaky breath and buried his face in his hands.

One thing was sure now.

His brother _would not_ eat those pills, anymore!


	4. IV

**/ / / HOPE / / /  
**

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.

* * *

 **/ / /  
**

 **Chapter 4**

 **/ / /  
**

A clock at the wall told him that Kiba would be home in fifteen minutes.

He was supposed to go to work tomorrow, even though his ribs were far from healed. With a good amount of painkillers he could function, though, so he was just going to bite the bullet and return to his normal routines.

The reluctance in the jade eyes still haunted him. His little brother didn't want him to come back here. But he lived here, and he loved Kiba. At least he thought he did.

To be honest he felt slightly confused about his own feelings. It meant a world to him that his little brother had taken care of him for so many days. Kiba wasn't like that. Granted, his boyfriend looked after him in his own, distant way. It was not comparable to the redhead's goodheartedness, though.

But he loved Kiba, didn't he?

He couldn't leave him.

The door opened, and the dull look on the brown haired man's face changed instantly as he noticed Kankuro.

"You're home," Kiba said, but his voice didn't carry the delighted undertone Kankuro had expected to hear.

"Yeah," the older man smiled weakly.

"The hell you ran away?" Kiba barked, closing in on his boyfriend with few brisk strides. He grabbed his chest, but not tightly enough for Kankuro to feel threatened.

"I . . . I had to," Kankuro explained, flashing a little smile, hoping his boyfriend would find it comforting and not provocative at all.

"That _bastard_ dragged you out, didn't he?" Kiba asked, his grip slightly tightening as he stared at him suspiciously.

"Please don't call him that," Kankuro said softly, keeping his posture as relaxed and carefree as possible.

"I call him whatever I want," Kiba spat, baring his canines. " _He_ had the audacity to threaten me with _police_."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Kankuro whispered, knowing that his brother's straightforward words would've gotten him into trouble sooner or later. "He won't do it, I p-promise."

"That's right, he won't," Kiba said sinisterly, his grip tightening and now the older man began to feel slightly terrified. "Because you won't be seeing him again."

"What?" Kankuro was dumbfounded. "No, that won't do. You can't―"

"Try to stop me," Kiba growled, and hit the spineless brunette in the face.

Kankuro fell to the floor, and with terrified eyes, crept backwards. At the moment he did it, he knew it was a bad choice.

"Unlike you," Kiba started, circling around his boyfriend, "I have a reputation to keep." Then, he pointed an accusing finger at him. "You are unemployed and a nobody."

"I―I have a job," Kankuro corrected, shoulders slumping as the brown haired man stopped and stared at him menacingly.

"You won't," Kiba snarled, and it was the last warning the older man got.

As the first kick landed on his stomach, he screamed and automatically protected his aching ribs. This feeble attempt to protect himself only seemed to aggravate the other, and an angry kick at his behind forced him to change his position.

When he opened his eyes he had just enough time to see Kiba take out his leather belt, entwining the other end around his hand tightly. The buckle swayed ominously in the air, as Kiba got closer to him.

He was sure he screamed. He must've screamed. For as he later on examined the damage done he knew he couldn't have endured those glaring gashes without some sort of expression of horror. He didn't want to look in the mirror, for he knew he looked like shit.

It had been a few days now, but it was all the same. It wasn't like he had a job to attend to.

Yeah . . .

It had been a tough decision for him but he hadn't gotten a choice. The buckle whips still echoed in his sore body, reminding his flesh to stay obedient.

But giving up his beloved job wasn't the hardest thing.

It would be saying goodbye to his brother.

He didn't want to do it. But had he really any choice in that?

 **/ / /  
**

From the state of his bruises and gashes Kankuro calculated the days passing by. He didn't need a calendar, for what did it matter if it was Sunday or Monday? All the days in this homey little cell felt the same.

He tried to keep it positive, though. Maybe deep down, Kiba still loved him.

Up until now, he had thought he loved him, too. He adored him. Or . . . he _had adored_ him. Did he really love him anymore, like he used to? Kankuro shook his head and forced a little smile to his face. Tears were pooling in the corners of his eyes but he quickly wiped them off.

That night, Kiba came home at his usual time.

Dinner was not ready, Kankuro knew, and looked down as he was questioned.

And no, he had not told his brother yet. Yes he would, he promised, but it seemed his time had come up.

He wondered when his body would become numb for all this violence. There was only so much he could take this abuse, and he had a feeling he was reaching his limit. Kiba was yelling at him, but the anger in his eyes had ceased to faze him. He felt so tired, he wanted to sleep this nightmare away.

The first punch woke him up.

The nightmare wasn't gone. This _was_ it.

"No . . . " he whispered, his voice hoarse from staying silent.

It made no difference, it was like no one had even heard him.

"No!" he said a little louder, and all the energy in the world suddenly stagnated, waiting.

"I've had enough," Kankuro spoke again, looking at his bewildered boyfriend with a tired, serious look.

"Oh, so you finally grew a spine, did you?" Kiba snarled, coming over his confusion.

With unknown energy, Kankuro calmly grabbed his boyfriend's chest and lifted him upwards, so the younger, shorter male had to tiptoe. He pushed him against the wall, looking at him with saddened eyes. Why did it have to end like this?

"It's over," he whispered, and released his grip. He made his way to the bedroom, to pack his things and leave.

"You," Kiba said with a voice full of accusation and surprise, " _You_ are not leaving _me_."

"It looks like I am," Kankuro said, throwing his bag on the bed and stuffing it full with clothes.

"Where are you going to run to?" Kiba spat, crossing his arms in front of his chest, leaning on the doorframe.

"I am not running," Kankuro corrected calmly but tiredly. "And any place is better than this."

"You have some nerve," Kiba said venomously, slowly coming closer to him. "I put a roof above your head and this is how you thank me?"

"Yeah," Kankuro said sarcastically, not believing his ears. If someone had _the nerve_ , it was most certainly not him! "Thank _you_ for all the bruises and cuts and broken bones."

"You know I didn't mean them, I've been under constant stress," Kiba defended himself, straightening up his posture.

"I know you've been stressed. But enough is enough. It's over now," Kankuro replied, closing the zipper of his bag.

"If you really think you can just run away―"

"Look do I need to punch you to get this through?" Kankuro snapped, once again gripping the younger male's front. "Because I will if I have to."

The threat seemed to calm down the brown haired man, and Kankuro released his hold. With tired steps, he made his way to the hallway, and put on his shoes and jacket. He knew he looked horrible but for once, he couldn't care less.

"Goodbye," Kankuro said quietly with one last glance at the wide-eyed ex-boyfriend.

If he was forced to bid goodbye to someone, it would _not_ be his little brother.

 **/ / /  
**

"I know I look like shit," Kankuro said and tried to smile at Gaara's horrified expression. The situation was dire enough without him moping around about it.

Gaara's gaze dropped from his brother's bruised face down to the bag hanging on his shoulder.

"I guess I'm moving in with you," the brunette said, faking a grin, even though it hurt his facial muscles. "I left him, Gaara."

"Oh . . . w-wow that's great!" the redhead gasped, then hugged his brother. "How . . .?"

"I got enough of it," Kankuro admitted, lowering his gaze. "And he . . . he tried to make me leave you." He lifted his gaze to see the surprise on the redhead's face. "And I c-couldn't do that, so . . ."

"You . . . " Gaara whispered, clearing his throat. "You left your boyfriend for me?"

"Yeah, I know it sounds weird if you put it like that," Kankuro laughed and ruffled the red hair in a brotherly way. "But family is more important than anything."

"It is," Gaara admitted, letting a small smile come to his lips.

 **/ / /  
**

That night, Kankuro couldn't truly sleep. It wasn't only because of his bodily aches that kept him awake, but because of a tiny fright that his ex-boyfriend might consider barging in here in the middle of the night.

His little brother was blissfully asleep next to him. He smiled at him, and gently stroked his cheek. The skin felt soft and warm, and the black eyelids momentarily twitched upon his touch.

It felt funny but he liked the _feel_ of him. He was petite, more petite than Kiba. Carefully, he traced his thumb along the slightly parted lower lip, and the redhead let out a quiet gasp.

Of course, there was nothing unusual behind these actions of his. He was only curious. This was brotherly, and nothing else. _He_ wasn't sick. He just wanted to understand, so that he could cure.

Sometimes it felt like Gaara didn't want him to understand. He wasn't sure what to think of that. As far as he knew, his little brother's . . . _abnormality_ included him. Because of that he felt he shouldn't be excluded. He was part of the problem, so to say, and that was why he wanted to be a part of the solution too.

 **/ / /  
**

"Whoops, sorry!" Kankuro called as he accidentally dropped his mug to the sink.

No answer came from his brother, but as he peeked over his shoulder, he could see the redhead had put a pillow over his head. If he listened hard enough, he was sure he could hear the silent fuming coming from under there.

"I'm going now, see you later," Kankuro said, wincing at the loud jingle his keys made as they dropped on the floor.

His brother had come home from a nightshift maybe four hours ago, and had only gotten some hours of sleep until Kankuro's alarm had gone off. Needless to say, days like these wore them out pretty roughly. Over the month he had now lived with his brother, he had learned that living with someone in a small place like that was definitely not a picnic.

They really didn't need mornings like these to add the tension in the air, but what could be done?

Humming happily, Kankuro made his way to work. After some encouragement from Gaara, he had dared to ask his old job back. It had been a tough spot to explain to Mr. Hatake―or _Kakashi_ , whatever―why he had resigned earlier. Thankfully, his boss had understood, and for once the lazy, unimpressed look on his face had changed into an empathetic smile.

Maybe it had been just his good mood recently, he wasn't sure, but it sure felt like Shino had looked at him differently lately. Well, he admitted to himself, it wasn't easy to conclude what the sort of Shino's gazes was at each time, given the man's enthusiasm to cover his eyes behind black sunglasses. But the way those glasses sometimes glinted was a sign enough for Kankuro.

He had given his friend a brief summary of what Kiba had turned out to be like. He couldn't bear to tell any unnecessary details, but had instead told only the outlines so his friend would get the picture. Shino had been comforting in his own, restrained way.

The next day, he had been given a tiny glass jar.

"Man, what on earth is this?" he had asked, and looked at Shino with amusement and surprise.

"She is a special ladybug, just for you. Always remember, that friends are here for you," Shino had replied to him, and then his glasses had once again flashed in the cafeteria's fluorescent lightning.

He kept the jar on the nightstand, and had warned his brother not to drop it in any situation. Sometimes when he had hard time getting sleep, he took the jar and gazed at the pretty bug for some time. He liked red . . . and black. The bug was beautiful, and he inwardly chuckled―only Shino could get a thought like that into his head!

 **/ / /  
**

"Nothing, eh?" Kankuro asked, taking a bite of his toast.

"Nothing," Gaara replied and tossed the newspaper across the table. Rather sourly, he took a sip of his coffee.

The redhead had often talked about finding a better place, a bigger place, but so far nothing suitable had been on the market. The small space was getting on both of their nerves.

"Look, I can find a place of my own if you want," Kankuro offered, taking the paper and opening the science section.

"No, you don't have to," Gaara replied instantly, his jade eyes widening. "I'm sorry. I've been in a bad mood lately. It isn't your fault."

"Hmm. It's okay," Kankuro mumbled between mouthfuls, reading an article. "It's not easy for you to recover from a nightshift if I cause a goddamned ruckus in here in the morning."

"I know, and you don't have to feel sorry for that," Gaara explained with a calm voice. He took a sip of his coffee, then spoke again. "It's always easier to sleep when you're next to me."

Kankuro chocked on his coffee, trying to pay attention to the article―only to realize he had forgotten what it was about.

"I mean, that came out wrong," Gaara corrected, his gaze lowered. "I was trying to say that it'd be easier if we both had to wake up at the same time. Then, we wouldn't disrupt each other at the wrong time of the day."

"Yeah I got that," Kankuro replied, waving his hand dismissively.

 **/ / /  
**

TV was on. A stupid sitcom that was guaranteed to take his thoughts off did not do its trick this time.

They were sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall. Gaara looked at his brother, who had been oddly quiet for the last few days. Now though, the brunette was laughing at the program but his chuckles sounded hollow and humorless.

Gaara took hold of his brother's hand, gently squeezing it as it lay between them.

"Ah, you know," Kankuro finally began, an empty look in his kind eyes. "I saw Kiba just the other day."

"Really?" the redhead asked, eyes wide with surprise.

"Yeah, he was in this supermarket, and he happened to notice me, too," Kankuro told, staring at the TV screen. His voice was hollow. "He looked happy."

Gaara squeezed his hand, and nodded silently.

"And how couldn't he be happy . . . " Kankuro went on. "When he had a new boyfriend." His voice cracked in the end, and hurt was displayed all over his face.

"Oh I'm so sorry," Gaara whispered, and pulled his brother into a hug. Softly, he stroked the thick, brown locks that stuck out in a million angles.

"He's over me already," Kankuro whispered, stifling a sob. He closed his eyes and leaned into his brother's arms. He felt broken and abandoned. Had he really been that easily replaced?

"Don't mind him, he's an asshole who didn't deserve you," Gaara murmured, gently drawing circles in the brunette's back. "If he really is over you, then it means he didn't love you, and it was good you left him."

At the words, Kankuro broke down into hitched sobs, gripping the redhead's shirt as his life depended on it. Mentally, Gaara cursed himself for phrasing his thoughts once again so poorly. "I mean . . . I didn't mean that he hadn't loved you."

"No . . . It's . . . it's okay," Kankuro whispered, burying his face against his brother's chest. He loved Gaara and adored his caring personality. If he had ever let him go, he would've been a real fool. "Thanks . . . for being there for me, always."

"Anything for you," Gaara whispered, placing a soft kiss on the brunette's forehead but froze right away. Was this okay? He hadn't meant it in _that way_ . . .

Kankuro lifted himself upwards and looked at the redhead. He broke free from the hug but remained sitting next to him. With a searching look, he asked, "What does it feel like?"

"What?" Gaara asked warily.

"You know . . . " Kankuro shrugged, looking away as if ashamed. "Being around me, when . . . "

When he had these unnatural, forbidden feelings one shouldn't have towards their own kin? Gaara pondered for a moment. The question made him uncomfortable, and he wondered if there even was a correct answer to it. Of course there were tormenting moments, but for the most of the time, his abnormal preferences didn't bother his thoughts at all. It wasn't like he couldn't control himself.

"I'll survive," he finally replied, attempting a more humorous approach. With a smirk, he added, "Don't flatter yourself too much."

Kankuro smiled at him softly but didn't say anything. Ever so slightly, he touched the pale cheek.

Gaara visibly flinched, his eyes staring wide at the brunette like he had grown two heads.

Still smiling, it was really a sad little smile, Kankuro caressed his brother's cheek. He could tell his brother was tense, his sharp inhale a moment ago had been the first sign of that. He looked at his sweet brother, whose bright red hair shone like a wildfire each time sun hit it. And those dark, black rings around his eyes would probably never cease to exist thanks to the years of resilient insomnia. Even though lately, the redhead had slept soundly, for thank goodness.

He adored his brother, even though he knew the redhead was sick. But it wasn't his fault. Kankuro's gaze darted quickly to his brother's lips, then back to his jade eyes. Kankuro wasn't sick. He only wanted to understand. He knew there had to be a remedy, yet he didn't know what it would be.

Gently, he traced his brother's lower lip with his thumb, it was a brotherly touch. Gaara gasped, and a warm breath hit his thumb. He was a scientist, a researcher, and his interest was purely clinical. He withdrew his hand, but those jade eyes kept on staring at him, unmoving. And those pale cheeks were now blushing, albeit slightly.

As a soft gasp escaped from between his brother's slightly parted lips, he felt his own heart rate speed up. He wrote the reaction down to this imaginary report, for he was a researcher now, wasn't he? His brother closed his eyes, and swallowed, and in that short second he had taken hold of his face and then the jade eyes suddenly opened, widened, just in time to realize how close he'd gotten, but it was only for the science wasn't it, and his lips touched his brother's, and a wave of heat or hotness suddenly coursed through him.

"Haa . . . " Kankuro gasped as he pulled away, his own face blushing for sure now, but the look on his brother's eyes was something that almost pulled him back to him.

And he took hold of his little brother's face again, brushed their lips together, exploring the newfound feeling. He couldn't explain this, he couldn't put this into words, and in his mind, he dropped his imaginary pen on top of his imaginary report and left them there.

"Aah," Gaara breathed for air, and pushed his brother away. What on earth had gotten into his big brother? Was he on drugs or something? His eyes widened as he realized that maybe Tsunade's pills had somehow damaged his brain.

"What the hell, Kankuro?"

"Is that how it feels?" the brunette asked, wiping his mouth and staring at the gaping redhead. "Because I might feel it, too."

"No," Gaara said, shaking his head. "You are confused. Your break-up and Kiba's new boyfriend are messing you up."

For a long moment, Kankuro was silent. Eventually, his studying expression turned to a sad one, and he turned away. "Maybe you're right."

With that said, he climbed off the bed and left the apartment.

 **/ / /  
**

It was already night when he came back. Not sure if his brother was asleep already, he opened the door as quietly as possible.

Gaara was going through the newspapers, and when he heard him coming in, he turned to look at him.

"Look, we've got to find another place. A place with more rooms," Gaara said, scanning the columns.

Kankuro said nothing as he took off his jacket. He had anticipated that his brother would get like this. And it was no wonder, really.

"I'm sorry," Kankuro said finally, eyeing the big hoodie and the large sweatpants his brother was suddenly wearing. He squinted―weren't those _his_ clothes? As far as he knew, Gaara didn't own anything larger than size S. Up until now, his brother had been wearing tank top and boxer briefs every night, so the sudden change seemed a bit dramatic.

"It's cold in here," Gaara only replied, drawing his attention back to the papers.

"Okay," Kankuro said, feeling sorry that his brother obviously felt now uncomfortable around him. "I didn't mean to freak you out."

"It's okay, I understand," the redhead spoke.

"But still, I'm sorry," the brunette murmured. "Look, it must've been really uncomfortable to you, and I'm sorry. And I didn't mean to bring our . . . uncle to your mind, again."

Gaara nodded, twiddling the strings of his brother's hoodie. The truth was, what happened had not reminded him of their uncle in any way. But despite the pleasant feelings the recent incident had awoken in him, he couldn't let it happen, again.

"It wasn't uncomfortable," Gaara said quietly, and his brother sat down next to him, taking hold of his hands. He felt a little creeped out by his brother's sudden closeness. Then again, he understood him. "But it can't happen again."

"What do you mean?" Kankuro asked, and his gaze was innocent and confused.

It unnerved Gaara, and he tried to swallow the weird feeling that was trying to come to the surface. He withdrew his hands and pulled up the zipper of his hoodie all the way up.

"Because you are confused right now," Gaara explained. "And I believe you are unconsciously directing your feelings for Kiba, or for Shino, towards me, because we've been so close lately. And I know that once you've sorted your head out, you will realize your mistake."

When Kankuro only looked at him in silence, with a very deep look, he sighed and continued.

"I would never forgive myself if I'd let myself mislead your feelings in that way. I know you would only regret it, eventually," Gaara whispered, and turned away. He began folding the papers. When his brother didn't reply, he locked himself in the bathroom and brushed his teeth.

 **/ / /  
**

It felt great to get out of the apartment. Never had he liked Mondays so much than now.

The recent tension between him and his brother was getting really uncomfortable. He felt like they were going crazy. Or he was, at least.

Shaking away his tangled thoughts, Kankuro glanced at the man sitting across from him. This was a nice café near the museum. Shino had wanted to come here. He had told him he had some big news, but had refused to tell him what it was about while they were still at work.

He was _definitely_ sure that there was something going on between them. Of course Shino was a quiet and reserved kind of guy, but he was sure that his friend had been acting different lately. His steps were lighter, and there was something in that way his lips slightly turning upwards in a secret little smile.

"So . . . " Kankuro began, sipping his coffee. "Are you going to tell me?"

In his mind, he hummed a happy melody. It was only after he had broken up with Kiba, that Shino's demeanor had changed. That meant something, didn't it?

"Kankuro . . . " Shino began, suddenly looking down at his lap, his glasses flashing on the way. "I think I'm in love." And then, he was looking at him, again.

The way his friend was looking at him made a lump appear in his throat. Kankuro swallowed, wondering if he was blushing. Could this be really happening?

"W-Wow Shino, t-that's great," he said, faking a surprised voice. He gulped, and then continued. "I . . . I think I noticed there was something different in you lately."

Was there a blush on his friend's cheeks? It couldn't be ― Shino _never_ blushed!

"I . . . I thought you noticed," Shino said, and Kankuro leaned in closer instinctively. "I was afraid you would ask me about it at work."

"Don't worry, I know how you like to keep your personal life out of workplace," Kankuro smiled, looking softly at his handsome friend. He was handsome, wasn't he, just not in the same way as―

"She doesn't know yet," Shino said.

"H-Huh . . . ?" Kankuro asked, now truly surprised. "S- _She_?"

Shino looked at him seriously, his eyes unreadable because of the black sunglasses. "TenTen. The girl who works in your project. I've been trying to give him signals for weeks now, but I'm not sure if she's feeling the same."

That moment, Kankuro wasn't sure if his soul actually detached from his body and left it behind for an undefined amount of time. TenTen. The pretty, brown haired girl with two buns on top of her head. She always seemed to blush whenever Shino came to them, asking Kankuro to join him for lunch. Inwardly, he groaned. There was no way that girl _wasn't_ infatuated with his friend.

"Kankuro?"

It was Shinos alarmed voice, bringing his soul back from the heights back to his body. He blinked, taking in the worried expression on his friend's face.

"I think she likes you, too," Kankuro smiled, ignoring the disappointment pooling in his chest.

"R-Really?" Shino asked.

Okay, _that_ was definitely a blush. Inwardly, Kankuro groaned again but was truly happy for his friend, also. He wanted only the best for Shino. Too bad it wasn't him, though.

 **/ / /  
**

The grocery store was deserted at this time of the evening. Absentmindedly, Kankuro weighed some fruit and put them into his basket.

After he had bid goodbye to his friend, he had gone home. His brother hadn't been there, thankfully, and he had enjoyed his moment of solitude. First Kiba's new boyfriend and now Shino's mutual crush on that girl. It seemed that everyone else was happy except him.

Without further pondering, he put some yoghurt in the basket. When he remembered that Gaara liked strawberry flavor, he took some of those, too.

After spending some somber hours at home, he had gone out again, to walk out his frustration. He had really liked Shino, he thought. He smelled of old books and of chemicals he used in his hobby of collecting bugs. At first he had found the scent weird, but he had grown accustomed to it over the years. When he had left the café, he had hugged his friend, congratulating him and wishing him luck. The hug had felt nice, yet he had felt no spark in there. It was because _he_ was in love with a _girl_ , he explained to himself.

When he reached the register, he couldn't help but smile. His little brother was leaning on his elbows at the counter, a still look in his eyes. As he chuckled out loud, the jade eyes slowly turned to him. There was a happy glint even though the pale face remained as emotionless as before.

"Man, you really hate this job don't you," Kankuro chuckled, loading his groceries on the counter.

"What was your first clue?" Gaara asked, unenthusiastically scanning the items.

"For a moment I thought you've mastered the skill of sleeping with your eyes open," the brunette said in amusement.

"Maybe I have," the redhead replied. "I didn't except to see you here."

"I know. I was in the nearby, though, and the fridge was empty," Kankuro explained.

Gaara nodded, delighted to notice that his brother had bought strawberry yoghurt for him. His thoughtfulness warmed him, and after that, his workday felt a little more bearable.

"Chocolate ice cream?" Gaara asked, holding up the packet. It was not the cheap sort, either, but the kind with extra cream and real chocolate chunks. The only times he'd seen him buy this were when he had a broken heart or other kind of serious emotional turmoil. "Why?"

Kankuro snapped the packet from his hands and put in his bag, not feeling like explaining this right now. "Just had a rough day okay? Nothing serious, though."

"Whatever you say," Gaara replied, giving a studying glance at his quiet brother.

 **/ / /  
**

Naruto had called him.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to him.

It was night, and he had finished another one of his graveyard shifts, as he liked to call them nowadays. He had asked his boss for more of these, for even though they messed up their sleeping routines, he wanted to have the place just for himself from time to time.

One night though, he found himself at a 24/7 coffee place, a beaming blond across from him.

Even though he had never expressed it to him, he was still somewhat angry at Naruto for blurting _his secret_ to Kankuro of all people.

"You look like you want to murder me or something," the blond said, smiling, even though Gaara was sure he could detect a great amount of uneasiness in there.

"Why did you call me?" Gaara asked, going straight to the point. Sugarcoating was not his way.

"I think you know why," Naruto replied, a warm look in his blue eyes. It was odd, given that always in these situations, there had been something animalistic in those azure depths. Warmth was a rather new thing, and it scared the redhead.

"Not in the mood," Gaara quipped, sipping his coffee. With calculating eyes, he studied the carefree blond, who seemed not to be fazed by the cold treatment.

"Then why did you come here?" Naruto asked warmly, a slight smirk on his lips. Now, the challenging glint was back in his eyes.

Gaara looked away. He wasn't sure himself why he had indeed bothered meeting this man. He wanted nothing to do with him, not after―

"Come on," Naruto stood up and walked to stand behind Gaara's chair. The redhead turned his head to see the man, but Naruto guided his face back to its earlier position, to look straight ahead. Slowly, Naruto's hands slid down from Gaara's face to his shoulders, and just as the redhead was about to stand up, to get away from _that touch_ , Naruto's hands darted to his throat, gently but quite possessively restraining his earlier movement.

Gaara gasped, trying to see if anyone was looking at them.

"How about . . . ?" Naruto asked, his other hand slowly diving into the neckline of Gaara's shirt, caressing his collarbone. The other hand remained caressing his neck and jawline, keeping him still.

"Not my place," Gaara whispered, hoping the hand wouldn't travel any lower. What if someone was looking at them right now?

Naruto leaned to his ear, and Gaara was sure he could feel the man's smirk in there. Then, with a low, whispery voice he said, "My place is nearby, let's go there."

And in that confused moment, Gaara found himself not able to say no to that invitation.

 **/ / /  
**

"Aren't there any more ice cream left?" Gaara asked, raiding the freezer in slight frustration.

"Sorry, no," Kankuro said, glancing warily at his brother. Since when did his little brother like chocolate, anyway? "Someone seems to be a bit grumpy today."

"Well I'm sorry," Gaara snapped, instantly regretting his tone of voice. He went through the freezer again, just in case.

"Those double shifts must be tiring," Kankuro said sympathetically, as he turned his attention back to the TV.

Oh yeah, the 'double-shift'. Gaara frowned by himself, sighing as he still found no ice cream. Of course, his caring brother had asked him why he hadn't come home last night. He was sickened by himself, and he wanted to just withdraw from the world and sort out his thoughts.

"Hey," it was Kankuro's voice right behind his back, and it startled him, why hadn't he heard him coming? A silent gasp escaped him as Kankuro put his hands on his shoulders. He closed his eyes, glad that his brother could not see his face. The touch was warm and _titillating_ , nothing like the way Naruto had touched him. The memory of the blond repulsed him, or rather, his own lewd ways repulsed him, and he rabidly shoved the images into the back of his mind.

"You're awfully tense, you know?" And it was Kankuro again, sounding worried. The hands never left his shoulders, and for a second Gaara imagined what it would feel like if those hands would move to his throat―

"But it's been kind of tense around here lately, hasn't it?" the big brother laughed, squeezing the shoulders.

"Y-Yeah," Gaara whispered, surprised how hoarse his own voice sounded. He cleared his throat, but didn't say anything after that.

To his surprise, Kankuro sneaked his hands under his arms, pulling him against his chest. He was sure he had stopped breathing, at least he did when his brother's hands halted on his stomach, gently caressing him through his thin tank top. Of course, his clueless brother only meant it as a comforting, familial way, but to him that touch felt a way too―

"Gaara," his own name was breathed into his ear, and he gasped, not sure if that counted as breathing, for he suddenly felt like fainting. Kankuro had rested his chin on his shoulder, holding him tightly. He thought he would burst from tension when his brother's hand traveled upwards, sliding along his chest, and he was sure it would soon grab his throat like his brother was a goddamned mind-reader.

But instead, Kankuro scratched his nose, and Gaara let out a partly relieved gasp. Of course he would, what had he even thought would happen?

He was going crazy, wasn't he? Yes. The months living under the same roof with his brother were taking their toll on him.

"Kankuro," Gaara said quietly, indicating that it was okay now to let go of him, so that this weird moment between them could end. It had to end, for he couldn't trust himself if this continued any longer. His brother was innocent, and clueless, and was―

 _Kissing_ his neck, and Gaara cried out, from shock, from surprise, and he almost jumped but his brother held him still, not letting him bounce away.

For a split second he thought it had been just an accident, or that he had misinterpreted something, but when Kankuro kissed his jawline again and again, he couldn't tell himself anymore that it was not intended.

"K-Kankuro," he breathed, feebly trying to get away, for he knew that if he let this happen, his brother would hate him eventually, in the future.

But Kankuro kept him tightly against himself, his hands trailing lower again, to the hem of his top, and slid under it. The warm hands caressed Gaara's chest, taking in the softness of his skin, and there was no mistaking that his brother was into this, too, for he could feel his pent-up excitement just from the heat on his hands.

"W-We can't . . . " Gaara whispered, not really believing in his own words, but feeling he should try to be responsible, he should try to warn . . .

And those hot hands slowly slid away from under his top, and his brother pulled away. Gaara turned around to face him, surprised that his words had really brought them out of this dangerous moment, but Kankuro leaned in closer again, taking hold of his head and kissing him.

"Ah . . . " Gaara gasped, drowning into that forbidden heat that hissed inside of him. Gently yet eagerly, Kankuro kissed his jawline again, his fingers digging into his hair, holding him still. The underlying possessiveness was slowly undoing Gaara, and when his brother kissed his neck, he let out hitched, unsuppressed moans.

Kankuro looked at his little brother, whose cheeks were pink, lips slightly parted as he was gasping for air. He knew where this would lead, and he surely realized what society would think of them, if anyone were to ever find out. With each whispery pant that came out of his brother, as he leaned against the kitchenette counter, trembling and seeking for support, he was drawn towards him even more.

Once more, Kankuro brought their lips together, holding the back of his little brother's head and bending his head slightly backwards. This dominance seemed to please his little brother in an extraordinary way, and a needy gasp was all that was needed for a pleasant shiver to run down his spine. He had never been this dominant with anyone, ever, and now that he was allowed, he felt very aroused by this role.

He couldn't take anymore that hazed look in the jade eyes. God, did Gaara have any clue how heated he got him? He lifted him to his lap and instantly, the little brother entwined his legs around him. Gaara let out a shaky, surprised gasp as he could surely get a feel of his painfully throbbing erection. And he could feel the redhead's arousal against his stomach, too . . .

He lowered him to the bed, never having seen anything so stimulating in his whole life. Gaara lay there, his black tank top slightly pulled up, his boxer briefs barely hiding his erection, and on his face was the most arousing look. His jade eyes were half-lidded, and on his cheeks there was a pink hue as he breathed heavily.

"Oh gosh," Kankuro muttered as he came on top of him, feeling his brother's hard erection against his own. He kissed him on the lips, on the neck, but this time his actions had a more frenetic rhythm than before. When he looked into Gaara's clouded jade eyes full of need, he almost came then and there.

Gaara let his brother take off his top and briefs, feeling slightly self-conscious being fully naked. Eyes never leaving his brother, he watched as he discarded himself hurriedly from his own clothes, too, and when he finally saw his erected member in all its glory, he forgot how to breathe.

 _That_ was supposed to fit inside him?

Kankuro seemed to catch the drift, and smiled confidently at him. He had never seen such confidence radiate out of him, and in this moment it was an absolute turn-on for him.

The brunette draped his hand to the nightstand, taking out a bottle of lube. Gaara blushed, how did he know he kept it in there? Really, this cramped apartment had made it absolutely impossible for them to have any kind of secrets.

His train of thought was interrupted when Kankuro parted his legs, settling himself between them. When his hand began stroking his throbbing member at first lazily, then more seductively, all previous thoughts flew out of Gaara's mind. He arched his hips, looking at his brother through half-closed lids.

"A―Ah . . . Kank―" Gaara moaned, closing his eyes, as his brother took him into his mouth. The tongue that swirled around the tip teasingly, seductively, made Gaara arch his back, thrusting his leaking shaft deeper into that mouth.

"Oh―" Gaara gasped as a lubricated finger touched his orifice, gently pushing its way inside through the tight ring of muscles. The finger remained still for some moments, so that he could get used to the sensation, and again he came to think how on earth would his well-equipped brother fit in down there.

The finger pushed deeper, and softly caressed his bundle of nerves, his prostate, and he breathed out shakily. For an answer, Kankuro sucked his member, and for the love of god did the older brother have any idea what he was doing to him?

Another finger was pushed into him, and his brother kept on caressing him with his tongue, gently teasing the tip, like he knew it was making him crazy. The fingers inside of him made a scissoring movement, carefully stretching him and making him used to the sensation of being intruded.

"Kank . . . uro, if you keep . . . d-doing t-that I'll c-come," Gaara whispered with a shaky voice, bucking his hips, as the burning pleasure kept on gathering into his groin. He couldn't take this much longer, and he gripped the sheets, squirming under his brother's touch.

Kankuro pulled out the two fingers, but only to add three this time, and let his blushing little brother get used to the sensation. Gaara looked absolutely adorable, his pale skin flushed, as he desperately held the sheets in his fists, trying to hold back his oncoming eruption.

Kankuro pushed his three fingers deeper, caressing the inside walls on the way, and reached for that sweet spot again. As Gaara arched his back, he smiled by himself, and took his little brother's throbbing, leaking member into his mouth again. He sucked the sensitive tip, swirling his tongue all around it, enjoying the shaky moans his actions caused.

"Aa― I-I m-mean it. . . I'm c-c―" Gaara stuttered, as the wave of pleasure washed over him and straight into his aching groin, and he screamed, wildly arching his hips.

"K-Kank―uro!" he screamed, eyes tightly shut, his fist white as he kept on gripping the sheets, and his brother's fingers inside of him, caressing him, and his hot mouth sucking him, swallowing his seed . . .

Kankuro let out a gasp, as he watched his moaning, trembling little brother. His own erection was throbbing painfully, and hearing Gaara cry his name in uncontrolled, hitched gasps had only increased his arousal.

Gently, he took out his fingers. Gaara was still lying limply on the sheets, panting faintly. He turned him to lie on his stomach. Gaara looked at him, eyes half-lidded, and god, had the redhead any idea what that look was doing to him?

Kankuro spread lube on his twitching erection, and positioned the tip on Gaara's stretched entrance. Slowly, he began pushing inside, incoherent gasps escaping his lips as his little brother's tightness embraced him.

"Oh f-fuck you're t-tight," Kankuro whispered, his grip on Gaara's hips tightening.

"A-Ah, you're so b-big," the redhead breathed, his eyes widening and then closing as pleasure was once again pooling into his groin.

Kankuro pulled slowly out, then in again. He didn't want to hurt Gaara, and so he wanted to proceed carefully. The tight muscles were squeezing his hardened member so sweetly that he was afraid his brother would milk him dry right here and now. He bit his lips, caressing his brother's hips and gripping them more tightly as he once again pushed deeper.

Gaara's needy moans encouraged him to continue, and he pushed deeper, then out again, gripping the pale hips as he finally pushed all the way in. The look on the redhead's face―or what he could see of it―was so alluring. He had never experienced anything as arousing as this.

Another needy moan tore free from Gaara's throat as he lay on his stomach, his brother pushing inside of him, his thick cock caressing his sweet spot with each movement. He still wondered how he'd fitted in there, but as another sweet thrust came, all thoughts left his mind again.

As if sensing his wants, Kankuro placed passionate kisses on his neck. His hot breath hit against his cheek, and he cried out his name, again. Kankuro took hold of his wrists, capturing them so that he couldn't move. This was just like in his dreams, and as his brother's hard dick kept on pounding into him, his hitched moans became more and more incoherent.

"K-Kan-kuro," he cried, as the pleasure once again threateningly gathered into his lower regions.

But his brother suddenly freed his hands, and then slowly pulled away. Right after, he guided Gaara to lie on his back.

"I want to see your face when I come," Kankuro explained, placing a soft kiss on Gaara's lips.

He positioned himself between his little brother's legs, once again. Holding his hips tightly, he started to push inside. The look on Gaara's blushed face was totally arousing. With each inch his length slid deeper, Gaara's mouth opened wider like in a silent scream of pleasure. And his little brother's member was fully erect, again, and demanding for attention as it throbbed against his pale abdomen.

"G-Gaara," he breathed, and began a steady rhythm. Those pale hands gripped the sheets again and Kankuro took hold of his brother's neglected erection. He spread the leaking precum all over the tip, dragging his thumb all over the slit, teasing him.

"D-Don't s-stop," Gaara moaned, his voice hoarse, as he spread his legs further apart, looking at his hunk of a brother. He couldn't tear his stare away from those slightly blushed cheeks, those parted lips and his brother's broad chest that glistened in sweat. And as his gaze dropped lower, he saw that promising trail of hair that began from his navel and went down to . . . and now that thick cock was inside of him, pounding into him, stretching him so pleasantly, to the point he was about to―

"K-Kan―ku-ro!" he screamed as he erupted in one white hot moment, and his throaty screams continued as his brother's hard member kept on pushing in with an increasing pace.

"F-Fuck Gaara," Kankuro breathed, as he watched his brother writhe in the spasms of his release, again. There was something in the way his brother was so completely unrestrained and feral that finally undid him. It was the way Gaara's tight muscles were squeezing his member, and it was how his brother screamed out his name so easily, that made all the pent-up pleasure gather into his groin, threatening to explode it. He couldn't hold it in, anymore. The sight of Gaara, the _feel_ of him, and he couldn't help but―

"Aa-h, G-Gaara―!" Kankuro moaned, his pace quickening, his nails digging into the soft skin on his brother's hips, as he reached his release and erupted into that sweet, sweet tightness. As he slowly recovered from his mind-shattering experience, he pulled out and collapsed next to his spent-out brother.

Gaara kissed him in a tired, worn-out way. He could taste the sweat from his skin, and he adored it. The red hair was sweaty, too, and clung to his forehead. Gently he moved a few locks away, but then his attention was back in those half-lidded, hazy jade eyes.

Kankuro smiled at him, and pulled him closer. The redhead was still slightly trembling and recovering from the pleasure they had just shared. And Gaara, he was gladly leaning against the broad chest, the one he had dreamed of on so many occasions.

 **/ / /  
**

"I'm sorry," Gaara whispered, staring at his brother in the darkened room. It was night already but he couldn't sleep.

"For what?" Kankuro asked, his eyes closed. It seemed he couldn't sleep, either.

"I'm sorry that I let it happen. I shouldn't have," Gaara replied, closing his eyes like the greatest sinner in the world. When he opened his eyes, his brother was looking at him silently.

"Gaara," Kankuro started and pulled him closer. "We already talked about this."

"I know," the redhead replied, leaning into the warmth that was his brother's chest. He adored this, and he had dreamed about this countless of times. But he would have to bid goodbye to this soon, for it wouldn't take long for his brother to come to his senses. And then, he would lose not only this unnatural contact, but his brother, too. Kankuro would leave him.

"You will hate me," Gaara sighed, and the safe warmth couldn't drive his depressing thoughts away anymore. "And you will leave."

"Nonsense," Kankuro muttered, lazily ruffling the red hair. They had had this conversation in a few different forms now. In a way, he could see where his brother was coming from. But how could he prove to him that his feelings weren't as fleeting as he seemed to assume?

"Look," he began, gently gazing into the jade orbs. "I know you think that this is just a phase of mine, and that I'm confused." The little brother nodded, and then withdrew his gaze. Gently, the brunette lifted his face to look at him again. "I know that this won't be easy to handle, not only because of what society thinks of this." There was a serious look in the brunette's eyes.

Then, Kankuro continued. "But I also know that I've never, _ever_ , felt anything like this before. And if you feel the same about me, then it's all that matters."

Gaara gulped, and looked at his big brother with glistening eyes. Kankuro kissed him on the lips, and after a minute hesitation, he gave into it.

Maybe, just maybe, this bizarre relationship of theirs would last, and his brother wouldn't hate him or abandon him, like he had feared. He didn't allow himself to imagine the future, but the way his brother gently caressed him, pulling him closer, gave him the tiniest sense of something he hadn't remembered existed: Hope.

 **/ / /  
**

 **THE END**

 **/ / /**

* * *

 **A/N:** _Hooray for KankuGaa forever! ^_^ **  
**_


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